There are forces in the universe so powerful that I cannot comprehend them. There are beings of such vast intelligence that even I, as smart as I am, will never fathom their motives.
And then there is Mother Nature.
Let me tell you about Mother Nature.
My day started as any other. I rose before dawn and did my exercises, both mental and physical. I bathed and had breakfast. I left the Gold Cloak tower to meet my friends.
I marched down the road from the Golden Tower to the Battle Temple in the predawn light. Roosters were crowing and mothers were sweeping their porches and other mundane chores. It is about a fifteen minute walk from the tower where I stay to the temple. I always enjoy these walks. I waved at a few people I see every morning and bid them hello. They seem to like me. I know not why. I'm a people person, I guess.
As I arrived at the Battle Temple I met Brother Eldrest sweeping the entryway of his church. I bid him good morning and inquired if any of my friends had arrived yet.
"Abrandon stays here and is awake inside doing his morning prayers." he said. "None of your other friends are here yet. Well none of your living ones that is."
I grimaced at this reminder of Mordin's and Aramel's fate. "Has the Druid arrived yet?" I asked.
"Sister Oreena has not arrived yet either. I expect her shortly."
"Well then, I'll go talk to Abrandon while I wait."
I moved to head past him, but the old cleric stopped me with a hand to the chest and said, "Brother Nitro, you still owe me a service for the restorative magics I used upon your friends a few weeks ago, do you not?"
"I do." I answered. "Who do you want killed?" I asked cracking my knuckles. "I also can pull guard duty and caravan escorts if you need."
"Actually I do need something exterminated." He said, causing me to smile. A smile that quickly vanished as he handed me an old garden hoe. "There is an invasion of weeds in my garden around the side of the church. Could you be a good soldier and rout them for me?"
"Seems to be a a waste of my talents, but sure." I said as I grabbed the hoe from him.
As I was walking away the old priest asked, "Nitro? You do know the difference between a weed and garden vegetables? Don't you?"
"Of course." I sneered as I continued walking. "I studied horticulture in school."
"Was there anything you didn't study?" laughed Eldrest.
"Nope." I said.
I spent the next couple of hours fighting off the weeds in the Temple's modest garden at the side of the temple. I positioned myself so I could keep an eye on the walkway to the front of the church. I waved at each of my friends as they arrived and vanished into the temple.
As I slew another weed, a new combatant entered the fray against the Temple's troop of vegetables. An old grey rabbit hopped out of the bushes and started nibbling on some of the carrots a few yards from me.
"I here the cabbages are good." I said to it with a smile. The rabbit's ears twitched a little, and then it cocked its head quizzically, like it was pondering my words. Then, sure enough, it hopped over to the cabbage patch and started munching to its hearts content. "Eat it all my friend. You have my blessing." I said laughing.
The rabbits ears stood straight up, causing me to smile again.
A thunderous screech froze the rabbit and I in our tracks as a winged shadow fell over us. Our momentary paralysis proved fatal for one of us. Out of nowhere a great Golden Eagle struck, and struck so quickly, that it startled me, causing me to drop my hoe and fall on my ass.
Cursing, I jumped back to my feet, but of the eagle and the rabbit there was no sign, except a small splatter of blood where my furry little friend was.
I continued my war against the the weeds for about another 30 minutes, pondering how quick life can come to an end, until I noticed an older woman approaching the temple. She was dressed in buckskins and had feathers in her hair. Her step was sure and full of confidence. As she drew nearer I noticed she was quite beautiful for a woman three times my age. I met her halfway up the walk and was determined to make a good first impression. "Sister Oreena? I presume?" I asked.
"Nitro." she nodded her head at me as I fell into step beside her.
"You have heard of me?" I smiled.
"I deal in life," she declared. "So naturally I would keep track of one who deals in death."
My step faltered as my smile vanished. I quickly ran to catch up. "My lady! I think you misjudge me." I said defensively.
"Do I?" She wheeled on me. "Are you not a soldier? Do you not kill for pay?" She tsked. "Little better than an assassin you are." She left me there with my mouth agape. I was thinking so much for my first impression when she turned around at the temple door and said "Here." She tossed me something small. I caught it. "I hear those are lucky." she said as she turned and entered the temple.
I looked down at a small furry foot in my hand. A little nob of blood at its joint. "Not for the rabbit." I whispered.
As I followed her into the temple I heard Oreena say to my friends and to Brother Elderst. "I would have been here sooner but I stopped for breakfast."
Sheesh! And she had the nerve to call me a killer! As if reading my mind, which she may actually have been doing. She said to me with a shrug, "Circle of life."
Whatever!
"Lets get down to business." said Shakes. "Can you bring our friends back from the dead? And if so, how much will it cost us?"
"All things are possible in nature." the old druidess answered cryptically. "I have the power to call back your friends spirits from where they have gone, but not to these body's." She said this as she pointed to Mordin's and Aramel's corpses lying on slabs in the church. "These body's are dead" she continued, "And my power cannot call them back to enter them."
"What does this mean, revered one?" asked Skylar.
I got the impression that these two knew each other as she caressed his cheek with her hand and answered, "Mother nature will create and supply a new body for them."
We quickly talked this over and then asked, "How much?"
"Mordin is a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness. I will cast the spell for free for him just this once." Oh cool....I thought....Our crazed berserker is 'a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness' and I am killer and little better than an assassin. Hurmph! "For this..." she said waving her hand flippantly at Aramel's dismembered corpse, "1200 gold you will need."
"Deal!" said Shakes as he held out a jittering hand.
Oreena did not shake his hand but walked around the bodies of our fallen comrades, laying out mistletoe and holly and other strange components. "You youngsters should go to the forest to the south of here and await your friends there. They will arrive in about an hour."
"Will we recognize them?" asked Draco
"They will arrive as they entered the world the first time." She said.
"Wait!" I interjected with alarm. "They will be babies?!?"
"No. Numskull soldier. You will know them when you see them. But there form will be chosen by Mother Nature in all her wisdom." I was getting the feeling Sister Oreena did not think highly of me.
"Lets go." I said. "and bring their stuff."
We headed out of the church and a little ways to the south to the edge of the woods not far from where the hunting lodge was that Skylar stayed at.
"I hope Mordin comes back as a Minotaur." said Abrandon. "We could use a Minotaur to open doors."
"Uh..." I disagreed. "I don't think a Minotaur with Mordin's temper would be good for the world."
"Minotaurs already have bad tempers." the cleric told me. "Only this one would be working for us."
We sat around at the edge of the woods for about an hour like this arguing over what form Mother Nature, in all her wisdom, would choose for our friend Mordin. No one seemed to care what form Aramel's body took.
Then, we heard something approaching in the bushes.
Everyone leaped to their feet and grew quite, holding our breaths.
The bushes parted.
A naked gnome stepped out.
We stood there in shock for several moments. Then the gnome said in a gruff voice with an orcish accent, "Whatcha all lookin at?" He planted his fists on his hips and stared up at us with a familiar crazy look in his eyes.
"Mordin?" said Shakes.
"You're a gnome." confirmed Skylar.
'No shit." said our diminutive barbarian friend. "Where is the wizard who did this to me? I have some payback for him."
"I have seen everything now." said Draco. "Nothing can surprise me anymore."
"A wizard did not do this to you my friend." Abrandon the Cleric told Mordin. "You died and this was the only way to get you back."
"You mean I'm stuck like this?" Mordin said with alarm. "Who is going to tell my father? Where's my stuff?"
I had know idea who Mordin's father was, but I knew I wasn't going to tell him. We handed over Mordin's stuff, none of which fit. He dressed as best he could, then said, "I have things to do." and left us there with our shocked looks on our faces.
We stood there looking at each other, questions written on all our faces, and then we heard a dainty "ahem" from the direction of the woods.
Our group turned around to see a naked woman standing there.
It took us a few moments for this to register that this was undoubtedly Aramel standing before us. I still had to ask though, "Uh Aramel? Is that you?"
"Stop staring at my boobs." said the woman that was Aramel.
"You're a girl." I was an expert at observation today. "And you're naked."
"I take it back." said Draco. "I can still be surprised."
"I said stop staring at my boobs." He or she said again. "Where's my stuff?"
We slowly and reluctantly handed over the kid's stuff, which he or she quickly donned and ran off into town. His or her last words to us were. "Don't lose my head. There is a price on it and it's worth a lot of bounty money in the next kingdom."
We stood there looking at each other some more. After what seemed an eternity Abrandon the Cleric said, "Well, that was interesting."
"Ya!" Draco agreed. "Aramel has boobs!"
After that I said. "I'll be in my bunk." and left.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I hope tonight my dreams are not filled with Aramels naked body.
There is one thing I can tell you for a fact.
Mother Nature has a strange sense of humor.
Geesh!
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