I am very excited about events that happened today. First, we parked Bob at a warehouse we rented from Shakes boss. He seems like an ok guy but a bit villainous. I gave Bob the order to slay anyone but one of our group who breaks into the warehouse since we have a lot of expensive stuff stashed there. I also gave Bob orders to listen to any commands given by any of our group unless I say otherwise. He is like the perfect servant.
Second, we split up the treasure we found in the Flying wizards lair. I netted just over a thousand gold and two wands. I had them identified by a cute blond girl at the Gold Cloak Tower. One is a Wand of Invisibility. The other is a Wand of Charm Monster.
Third, there is still no sign of Mordin. We are beginning to worry about our friend. I have heard of tell tell signs of his passing though. A lot of the women he frequented are telling tales of some super gnome lover boy in town. I seen that gnome naked. Mother nature might have shrunk his body but left some parts of him abnormally proportioned. If I was a girl I would be terrified of that weapon he was packing. But you know the women Mordin hung out with when he was a Half orc were probably used to such.
Fourth, I have a date. Yes you heard me right. I have a dinner date with the mistress of the Gold Cloak Tower, Iliara Starcloak, herself. She asked me about the creature we had fought, for she was deciphering some of the books we had recovered down there. I told her maybe we should discuss this over dinner at the Green Forest Inn.
I almost fainted when she said yes.
I know. I know. You are asking how someone who plays with dangerous monsters and fights for a living can go all weak in the knees over a girl.
But what a girl.
She is lean and lithe like all elves are. Her hair is like spun gold down to her hips. Her eyes are slanted and the lightest shade of purple. And above all else she is smart.
Brains and beauty make me weak in the knees.
So tomorrow I have arranged for a coach to pick her up and bring her to the Green Forest Inn where I have set up what I hope to be a romantic dinner for two.
I will let you know how it goes.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Day Thirty, Evening
I think I almost died today.
Twice.
When we met at the inn for breakfast, Aramel was waiting on us. But now he went by the name Vickey. I meant SHE went by the name Vickey.
I may not get used to this.
She looked a lot different. Besides the curves, I mean... She wore tight fitting black leathers. Her weapons consisted of whips and chains. She sat at the table and propped her feet up just like Aramel used to do. I think she was enjoying the nervousness that she was causing us. Well, most of us were nervous. Shakes started talking business, as usual, and Abrandon started questioning Aramel/Vickey about the new Him/Her.
I was just wondering whether Vickey/Aramel felt herself up in front of a mirror? Being that she was once a man, and now looked like that. I have to admit, Aramel's new body was pleasing to look at, but then she would open her mouth and talk like a guy, a guy with a melodious voice, and ruin it.
Oh well.
Shakes finally talked us into heading out. We waited for perhaps an hour for Mordin Fodder to show up. He didn't. I guess Aramel adjusted to his new body quicker than our barbarian friend. Makes sense, I suppose, given Mordin's innate fear of magic.
Once again we made our way down to the Enigma Vaults.
Vickey led the way. I couldn't help but notice that her butt swayed just like any other woman's. Apparently it is not something girls practice and learn. It must be just the way they walk. Natures way of luring unsuspecting men to their doom.
I watched to see if this was going to be a distraction and problem with my friends. I mean, we were in a dungeon full of dangerous monsters. If we couldn't keep our minds focused on task it could be disastrous.
Skylar was alert. He hardly looked at our new femme fatale. Nothing seemed different there.
Good.
If our scout was distracted, we would be in for some nasty surprises.
I would catch Draco looking at Vickey's swaying posterior, then he would quickly look away with a shudder and shake his head no. Maybe he was not as shallow as I first made him out to be.
But then he would check his hair to make sure it was all in place.
Shakes seemed oblivious. Maybe he is a eunuch. That would explain a lot. Like how he can do the splits so easy and kick behind his head.
Now Abrandon, our medic, was absolutely hypnotised by Vickey. His eyes rarely left her. He engaged her in conversation at every opportunity, and he hung on her every word.
I don't think our cleric remembers she was once a guy at all. I decided to take notes on all this. I may use it to write some cheesy romance novel in my old age.
Well enough of this.
I said I almost died twice, and the first time was utter stupidity on my part. We had kicked open a door. Above it was some sort of sign proclaiming it to be some sort of enigma of some sort or other.
Inside was a large broken geode. Of more interest was the pair of blue lion like creatures, each with two tails and tentacles for manes. They opened their mouths as they roared and charged. Their teeth was like that of sharks. Rows and rows of them.
Apparently they were hungry.
Shakes and Skylar engaged them in hand to hand. Or hand to teeth. Or whatever you want to call it. Draco and I sat back and blasted them with spells. Vickey, well she had to go and do something sexy.
Vickey looked over at me and smiled. She had very white teeth, but I guess when your body is only a day or two old, your teeth wouldn't have had time to decay. Also explains why she was so perky in places. Anyways, she looked at me and smiled and said, "Watch this."
She did a perfect cartwheel. Followed by a perfect backflip. And then ended with a perfect somersault right over the fight in front of us to land neatly behind the Blue Shark/ Lion things.
From now on I will refer to them as Sharkions.
"Wow!" Exclaimed Abrandon. "I don't remember her moving like that when she was a man!"
"Sure she did." I disagreed. "She tumbled around like that all the time."
"I don't think so." The Cleric argued with me. "A man can't move like that."
"I can even do that." I informed him.
"Uh huh. Sure you can," he said in obvious disbelief.
"I can!" I assured him. "I got an A in gymnastics at school!" He still didn't look like he believed me, so I said, "Watch this."
I did a perfect cartwheel, a perfect backflip and then ended with a perfect somersault.
Somehow or other I landed right in one of those Sharkion's mouth's, though.
"YIKES!" I yelled as the thing shook me around like a rag doll, blood flying everywhere. I bashed it upside the head with my morningstar, causing it to release me. I kicked it in the face as I crabwalked backwards trying to get away from the thing. Luckily Vickey swung her chain and hamstrung it with the blade on the end of her whip like weapon. This allowed me to escape behind Shakes and Skylar as the assassin hogtied the Sharkion.
Abrandon immediately started to to bandage my wounds and said, "Oh that was exactly like what she did. I don't know why I ever doubted you."
What a smartass.
Shakes and Skylar dropped their opponent. Draco blasted the one Vickey had hogtied with a firebolt. As it raised its head and roared in rage, she neatly jumped in and cut its throat. As the assassin did this though, one of those blue tails swung around and clipped her, knocking her back a few steps. Vickey grabbed her arm and yelled, "Ouch!" rubbing it.
"That's going to leave a nasty bruise." I said.
"Vickey!" yelled our medic. He actually knocked me over as he ran over to check her wound. Our cleric wasted no time using one of his best cure spells to heal her tiny bruise.
"Hey!" I yelled at him. "I'm bleeding to death over here!"
"That's just a scratch." he said back to me as he continue to nurse Vickey. "You'll be fine."
Something felt funny about my arm. I reached over and pulled a three inch sharks tooth out of my bicep. "Are you sure?" I asked as I watched blood squirt out of the spot where the sharks tooth had been. "I'm feeling a little bit dizzy here."
"Oh quit being a baby." Abrandon said as he walked back over to me. "Let me see that." as he jerked the sharks tooth out of my hand. "Hmm, it has a strange discoloration on it. It might be poisoned."
"Huh." I said woozily.
The medic placed a poultice upon my wound and checked over the rest of the group for bites. He made sure to check every inch of Vickey, twice.
We had a couple of other encounters that were not noteworthy. There were some Fungoid creatures and Shakes almost got sucked into the vacuum of deep space.
Nothing unusual there.
After we were finished and had our fill adventuring and exploring, we retrieved the treasure we had left behind in the flying insectoid wizard's room. I cast my Tenser's Floating disk spell and we loaded up everything of value we could find. As an after thought I tossed the wizard's body on our conveyance for further study in the Goldcloak laboratory. We pretty much took everything but the Alien Fungoid equipment which we assumed to be an Enigma. We didn't want to be purged after all....
We were still a little bit nervous as we approached the bridge with the Ghost Demon Abraxus upon it though. We didn't have Mordin with us after all and none of us were sure of an outcome If he decided to 'purge' us. Everyone else crossed first. As I set foot on the bridge Abraxus stepped forward, eyes glowing red with anger, and said in a deep ominous voice, "PUT HIM BACK!"
I gulped.
"You mean him?" I asked pointing at the insect wizard. "He's an Enigma?"
""PUT HIM BACK NOW!" the ghost demon reiterated.
"Uhh... Yes Sir." I told him. I continued with, "Sorry I didn't know." as I hastily retreated from the bridge. Funny how all my friends were laughing at me from across the way.
I put the thing back where we had slain it, and then once again approached the bridge. Abraxus didn't say nothing as I crossed with the rest of the loot. On the other side I told Shakes, "I think I almost died there."
"I had your back," he said.
"Bummer." said Draco. "I wanted to see what purging meant. It might not be as bad as we thought."
Ya right.
We made it the rest of the way out of the dungeon, but on our way out I used the newly repaired power crystal we recovered a few adventures ago to activate one of the constructs in the abandoned temple.
The Mechanoid follows my commands, and seems really strong.
I shall call him 'Bob'.
Twice.
When we met at the inn for breakfast, Aramel was waiting on us. But now he went by the name Vickey. I meant SHE went by the name Vickey.
I may not get used to this.
She looked a lot different. Besides the curves, I mean... She wore tight fitting black leathers. Her weapons consisted of whips and chains. She sat at the table and propped her feet up just like Aramel used to do. I think she was enjoying the nervousness that she was causing us. Well, most of us were nervous. Shakes started talking business, as usual, and Abrandon started questioning Aramel/Vickey about the new Him/Her.
I was just wondering whether Vickey/Aramel felt herself up in front of a mirror? Being that she was once a man, and now looked like that. I have to admit, Aramel's new body was pleasing to look at, but then she would open her mouth and talk like a guy, a guy with a melodious voice, and ruin it.
Oh well.
Shakes finally talked us into heading out. We waited for perhaps an hour for Mordin Fodder to show up. He didn't. I guess Aramel adjusted to his new body quicker than our barbarian friend. Makes sense, I suppose, given Mordin's innate fear of magic.
Once again we made our way down to the Enigma Vaults.
Vickey led the way. I couldn't help but notice that her butt swayed just like any other woman's. Apparently it is not something girls practice and learn. It must be just the way they walk. Natures way of luring unsuspecting men to their doom.
I watched to see if this was going to be a distraction and problem with my friends. I mean, we were in a dungeon full of dangerous monsters. If we couldn't keep our minds focused on task it could be disastrous.
Skylar was alert. He hardly looked at our new femme fatale. Nothing seemed different there.
Good.
If our scout was distracted, we would be in for some nasty surprises.
I would catch Draco looking at Vickey's swaying posterior, then he would quickly look away with a shudder and shake his head no. Maybe he was not as shallow as I first made him out to be.
But then he would check his hair to make sure it was all in place.
Shakes seemed oblivious. Maybe he is a eunuch. That would explain a lot. Like how he can do the splits so easy and kick behind his head.
Now Abrandon, our medic, was absolutely hypnotised by Vickey. His eyes rarely left her. He engaged her in conversation at every opportunity, and he hung on her every word.
I don't think our cleric remembers she was once a guy at all. I decided to take notes on all this. I may use it to write some cheesy romance novel in my old age.
Well enough of this.
I said I almost died twice, and the first time was utter stupidity on my part. We had kicked open a door. Above it was some sort of sign proclaiming it to be some sort of enigma of some sort or other.
Inside was a large broken geode. Of more interest was the pair of blue lion like creatures, each with two tails and tentacles for manes. They opened their mouths as they roared and charged. Their teeth was like that of sharks. Rows and rows of them.
Apparently they were hungry.
Shakes and Skylar engaged them in hand to hand. Or hand to teeth. Or whatever you want to call it. Draco and I sat back and blasted them with spells. Vickey, well she had to go and do something sexy.
Vickey looked over at me and smiled. She had very white teeth, but I guess when your body is only a day or two old, your teeth wouldn't have had time to decay. Also explains why she was so perky in places. Anyways, she looked at me and smiled and said, "Watch this."
She did a perfect cartwheel. Followed by a perfect backflip. And then ended with a perfect somersault right over the fight in front of us to land neatly behind the Blue Shark/ Lion things.
From now on I will refer to them as Sharkions.
"Wow!" Exclaimed Abrandon. "I don't remember her moving like that when she was a man!"
"Sure she did." I disagreed. "She tumbled around like that all the time."
"I don't think so." The Cleric argued with me. "A man can't move like that."
"I can even do that." I informed him.
"Uh huh. Sure you can," he said in obvious disbelief.
"I can!" I assured him. "I got an A in gymnastics at school!" He still didn't look like he believed me, so I said, "Watch this."
I did a perfect cartwheel, a perfect backflip and then ended with a perfect somersault.
Somehow or other I landed right in one of those Sharkion's mouth's, though.
"YIKES!" I yelled as the thing shook me around like a rag doll, blood flying everywhere. I bashed it upside the head with my morningstar, causing it to release me. I kicked it in the face as I crabwalked backwards trying to get away from the thing. Luckily Vickey swung her chain and hamstrung it with the blade on the end of her whip like weapon. This allowed me to escape behind Shakes and Skylar as the assassin hogtied the Sharkion.
Abrandon immediately started to to bandage my wounds and said, "Oh that was exactly like what she did. I don't know why I ever doubted you."
What a smartass.
Shakes and Skylar dropped their opponent. Draco blasted the one Vickey had hogtied with a firebolt. As it raised its head and roared in rage, she neatly jumped in and cut its throat. As the assassin did this though, one of those blue tails swung around and clipped her, knocking her back a few steps. Vickey grabbed her arm and yelled, "Ouch!" rubbing it.
"That's going to leave a nasty bruise." I said.
"Vickey!" yelled our medic. He actually knocked me over as he ran over to check her wound. Our cleric wasted no time using one of his best cure spells to heal her tiny bruise.
"Hey!" I yelled at him. "I'm bleeding to death over here!"
"That's just a scratch." he said back to me as he continue to nurse Vickey. "You'll be fine."
Something felt funny about my arm. I reached over and pulled a three inch sharks tooth out of my bicep. "Are you sure?" I asked as I watched blood squirt out of the spot where the sharks tooth had been. "I'm feeling a little bit dizzy here."
"Oh quit being a baby." Abrandon said as he walked back over to me. "Let me see that." as he jerked the sharks tooth out of my hand. "Hmm, it has a strange discoloration on it. It might be poisoned."
"Huh." I said woozily.
The medic placed a poultice upon my wound and checked over the rest of the group for bites. He made sure to check every inch of Vickey, twice.
We had a couple of other encounters that were not noteworthy. There were some Fungoid creatures and Shakes almost got sucked into the vacuum of deep space.
Nothing unusual there.
After we were finished and had our fill adventuring and exploring, we retrieved the treasure we had left behind in the flying insectoid wizard's room. I cast my Tenser's Floating disk spell and we loaded up everything of value we could find. As an after thought I tossed the wizard's body on our conveyance for further study in the Goldcloak laboratory. We pretty much took everything but the Alien Fungoid equipment which we assumed to be an Enigma. We didn't want to be purged after all....
We were still a little bit nervous as we approached the bridge with the Ghost Demon Abraxus upon it though. We didn't have Mordin with us after all and none of us were sure of an outcome If he decided to 'purge' us. Everyone else crossed first. As I set foot on the bridge Abraxus stepped forward, eyes glowing red with anger, and said in a deep ominous voice, "PUT HIM BACK!"
I gulped.
"You mean him?" I asked pointing at the insect wizard. "He's an Enigma?"
""PUT HIM BACK NOW!" the ghost demon reiterated.
"Uhh... Yes Sir." I told him. I continued with, "Sorry I didn't know." as I hastily retreated from the bridge. Funny how all my friends were laughing at me from across the way.
I put the thing back where we had slain it, and then once again approached the bridge. Abraxus didn't say nothing as I crossed with the rest of the loot. On the other side I told Shakes, "I think I almost died there."
"I had your back," he said.
"Bummer." said Draco. "I wanted to see what purging meant. It might not be as bad as we thought."
Ya right.
We made it the rest of the way out of the dungeon, but on our way out I used the newly repaired power crystal we recovered a few adventures ago to activate one of the constructs in the abandoned temple.
The Mechanoid follows my commands, and seems really strong.
I shall call him 'Bob'.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Day Twenty Nine, Evening
There are forces in the universe so powerful that I cannot comprehend them. There are beings of such vast intelligence that even I, as smart as I am, will never fathom their motives.
And then there is Mother Nature.
Let me tell you about Mother Nature.
My day started as any other. I rose before dawn and did my exercises, both mental and physical. I bathed and had breakfast. I left the Gold Cloak tower to meet my friends.
I marched down the road from the Golden Tower to the Battle Temple in the predawn light. Roosters were crowing and mothers were sweeping their porches and other mundane chores. It is about a fifteen minute walk from the tower where I stay to the temple. I always enjoy these walks. I waved at a few people I see every morning and bid them hello. They seem to like me. I know not why. I'm a people person, I guess.
As I arrived at the Battle Temple I met Brother Eldrest sweeping the entryway of his church. I bid him good morning and inquired if any of my friends had arrived yet.
"Abrandon stays here and is awake inside doing his morning prayers." he said. "None of your other friends are here yet. Well none of your living ones that is."
I grimaced at this reminder of Mordin's and Aramel's fate. "Has the Druid arrived yet?" I asked.
"Sister Oreena has not arrived yet either. I expect her shortly."
"Well then, I'll go talk to Abrandon while I wait."
I moved to head past him, but the old cleric stopped me with a hand to the chest and said, "Brother Nitro, you still owe me a service for the restorative magics I used upon your friends a few weeks ago, do you not?"
"I do." I answered. "Who do you want killed?" I asked cracking my knuckles. "I also can pull guard duty and caravan escorts if you need."
"Actually I do need something exterminated." He said, causing me to smile. A smile that quickly vanished as he handed me an old garden hoe. "There is an invasion of weeds in my garden around the side of the church. Could you be a good soldier and rout them for me?"
"Seems to be a a waste of my talents, but sure." I said as I grabbed the hoe from him.
As I was walking away the old priest asked, "Nitro? You do know the difference between a weed and garden vegetables? Don't you?"
"Of course." I sneered as I continued walking. "I studied horticulture in school."
"Was there anything you didn't study?" laughed Eldrest.
"Nope." I said.
I spent the next couple of hours fighting off the weeds in the Temple's modest garden at the side of the temple. I positioned myself so I could keep an eye on the walkway to the front of the church. I waved at each of my friends as they arrived and vanished into the temple.
As I slew another weed, a new combatant entered the fray against the Temple's troop of vegetables. An old grey rabbit hopped out of the bushes and started nibbling on some of the carrots a few yards from me.
"I here the cabbages are good." I said to it with a smile. The rabbit's ears twitched a little, and then it cocked its head quizzically, like it was pondering my words. Then, sure enough, it hopped over to the cabbage patch and started munching to its hearts content. "Eat it all my friend. You have my blessing." I said laughing.
The rabbits ears stood straight up, causing me to smile again.
A thunderous screech froze the rabbit and I in our tracks as a winged shadow fell over us. Our momentary paralysis proved fatal for one of us. Out of nowhere a great Golden Eagle struck, and struck so quickly, that it startled me, causing me to drop my hoe and fall on my ass.
Cursing, I jumped back to my feet, but of the eagle and the rabbit there was no sign, except a small splatter of blood where my furry little friend was.
I continued my war against the the weeds for about another 30 minutes, pondering how quick life can come to an end, until I noticed an older woman approaching the temple. She was dressed in buckskins and had feathers in her hair. Her step was sure and full of confidence. As she drew nearer I noticed she was quite beautiful for a woman three times my age. I met her halfway up the walk and was determined to make a good first impression. "Sister Oreena? I presume?" I asked.
"Nitro." she nodded her head at me as I fell into step beside her.
"You have heard of me?" I smiled.
"I deal in life," she declared. "So naturally I would keep track of one who deals in death."
My step faltered as my smile vanished. I quickly ran to catch up. "My lady! I think you misjudge me." I said defensively.
"Do I?" She wheeled on me. "Are you not a soldier? Do you not kill for pay?" She tsked. "Little better than an assassin you are." She left me there with my mouth agape. I was thinking so much for my first impression when she turned around at the temple door and said "Here." She tossed me something small. I caught it. "I hear those are lucky." she said as she turned and entered the temple.
I looked down at a small furry foot in my hand. A little nob of blood at its joint. "Not for the rabbit." I whispered.
As I followed her into the temple I heard Oreena say to my friends and to Brother Elderst. "I would have been here sooner but I stopped for breakfast."
Sheesh! And she had the nerve to call me a killer! As if reading my mind, which she may actually have been doing. She said to me with a shrug, "Circle of life."
Whatever!
"Lets get down to business." said Shakes. "Can you bring our friends back from the dead? And if so, how much will it cost us?"
"All things are possible in nature." the old druidess answered cryptically. "I have the power to call back your friends spirits from where they have gone, but not to these body's." She said this as she pointed to Mordin's and Aramel's corpses lying on slabs in the church. "These body's are dead" she continued, "And my power cannot call them back to enter them."
"What does this mean, revered one?" asked Skylar.
I got the impression that these two knew each other as she caressed his cheek with her hand and answered, "Mother nature will create and supply a new body for them."
We quickly talked this over and then asked, "How much?"
"Mordin is a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness. I will cast the spell for free for him just this once." Oh cool....I thought....Our crazed berserker is 'a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness' and I am killer and little better than an assassin. Hurmph! "For this..." she said waving her hand flippantly at Aramel's dismembered corpse, "1200 gold you will need."
"Deal!" said Shakes as he held out a jittering hand.
Oreena did not shake his hand but walked around the bodies of our fallen comrades, laying out mistletoe and holly and other strange components. "You youngsters should go to the forest to the south of here and await your friends there. They will arrive in about an hour."
"Will we recognize them?" asked Draco
"They will arrive as they entered the world the first time." She said.
"Wait!" I interjected with alarm. "They will be babies?!?"
"No. Numskull soldier. You will know them when you see them. But there form will be chosen by Mother Nature in all her wisdom." I was getting the feeling Sister Oreena did not think highly of me.
"Lets go." I said. "and bring their stuff."
We headed out of the church and a little ways to the south to the edge of the woods not far from where the hunting lodge was that Skylar stayed at.
"I hope Mordin comes back as a Minotaur." said Abrandon. "We could use a Minotaur to open doors."
"Uh..." I disagreed. "I don't think a Minotaur with Mordin's temper would be good for the world."
"Minotaurs already have bad tempers." the cleric told me. "Only this one would be working for us."
We sat around at the edge of the woods for about an hour like this arguing over what form Mother Nature, in all her wisdom, would choose for our friend Mordin. No one seemed to care what form Aramel's body took.
Then, we heard something approaching in the bushes.
Everyone leaped to their feet and grew quite, holding our breaths.
The bushes parted.
A naked gnome stepped out.
We stood there in shock for several moments. Then the gnome said in a gruff voice with an orcish accent, "Whatcha all lookin at?" He planted his fists on his hips and stared up at us with a familiar crazy look in his eyes.
"Mordin?" said Shakes.
"You're a gnome." confirmed Skylar.
'No shit." said our diminutive barbarian friend. "Where is the wizard who did this to me? I have some payback for him."
"I have seen everything now." said Draco. "Nothing can surprise me anymore."
"A wizard did not do this to you my friend." Abrandon the Cleric told Mordin. "You died and this was the only way to get you back."
"You mean I'm stuck like this?" Mordin said with alarm. "Who is going to tell my father? Where's my stuff?"
I had know idea who Mordin's father was, but I knew I wasn't going to tell him. We handed over Mordin's stuff, none of which fit. He dressed as best he could, then said, "I have things to do." and left us there with our shocked looks on our faces.
We stood there looking at each other, questions written on all our faces, and then we heard a dainty "ahem" from the direction of the woods.
Our group turned around to see a naked woman standing there.
It took us a few moments for this to register that this was undoubtedly Aramel standing before us. I still had to ask though, "Uh Aramel? Is that you?"
"Stop staring at my boobs." said the woman that was Aramel.
"You're a girl." I was an expert at observation today. "And you're naked."
"I take it back." said Draco. "I can still be surprised."
"I said stop staring at my boobs." He or she said again. "Where's my stuff?"
We slowly and reluctantly handed over the kid's stuff, which he or she quickly donned and ran off into town. His or her last words to us were. "Don't lose my head. There is a price on it and it's worth a lot of bounty money in the next kingdom."
We stood there looking at each other some more. After what seemed an eternity Abrandon the Cleric said, "Well, that was interesting."
"Ya!" Draco agreed. "Aramel has boobs!"
After that I said. "I'll be in my bunk." and left.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I hope tonight my dreams are not filled with Aramels naked body.
There is one thing I can tell you for a fact.
Mother Nature has a strange sense of humor.
Geesh!
And then there is Mother Nature.
Let me tell you about Mother Nature.
My day started as any other. I rose before dawn and did my exercises, both mental and physical. I bathed and had breakfast. I left the Gold Cloak tower to meet my friends.
I marched down the road from the Golden Tower to the Battle Temple in the predawn light. Roosters were crowing and mothers were sweeping their porches and other mundane chores. It is about a fifteen minute walk from the tower where I stay to the temple. I always enjoy these walks. I waved at a few people I see every morning and bid them hello. They seem to like me. I know not why. I'm a people person, I guess.
As I arrived at the Battle Temple I met Brother Eldrest sweeping the entryway of his church. I bid him good morning and inquired if any of my friends had arrived yet.
"Abrandon stays here and is awake inside doing his morning prayers." he said. "None of your other friends are here yet. Well none of your living ones that is."
I grimaced at this reminder of Mordin's and Aramel's fate. "Has the Druid arrived yet?" I asked.
"Sister Oreena has not arrived yet either. I expect her shortly."
"Well then, I'll go talk to Abrandon while I wait."
I moved to head past him, but the old cleric stopped me with a hand to the chest and said, "Brother Nitro, you still owe me a service for the restorative magics I used upon your friends a few weeks ago, do you not?"
"I do." I answered. "Who do you want killed?" I asked cracking my knuckles. "I also can pull guard duty and caravan escorts if you need."
"Actually I do need something exterminated." He said, causing me to smile. A smile that quickly vanished as he handed me an old garden hoe. "There is an invasion of weeds in my garden around the side of the church. Could you be a good soldier and rout them for me?"
"Seems to be a a waste of my talents, but sure." I said as I grabbed the hoe from him.
As I was walking away the old priest asked, "Nitro? You do know the difference between a weed and garden vegetables? Don't you?"
"Of course." I sneered as I continued walking. "I studied horticulture in school."
"Was there anything you didn't study?" laughed Eldrest.
"Nope." I said.
I spent the next couple of hours fighting off the weeds in the Temple's modest garden at the side of the temple. I positioned myself so I could keep an eye on the walkway to the front of the church. I waved at each of my friends as they arrived and vanished into the temple.
As I slew another weed, a new combatant entered the fray against the Temple's troop of vegetables. An old grey rabbit hopped out of the bushes and started nibbling on some of the carrots a few yards from me.
"I here the cabbages are good." I said to it with a smile. The rabbit's ears twitched a little, and then it cocked its head quizzically, like it was pondering my words. Then, sure enough, it hopped over to the cabbage patch and started munching to its hearts content. "Eat it all my friend. You have my blessing." I said laughing.
The rabbits ears stood straight up, causing me to smile again.
A thunderous screech froze the rabbit and I in our tracks as a winged shadow fell over us. Our momentary paralysis proved fatal for one of us. Out of nowhere a great Golden Eagle struck, and struck so quickly, that it startled me, causing me to drop my hoe and fall on my ass.
Cursing, I jumped back to my feet, but of the eagle and the rabbit there was no sign, except a small splatter of blood where my furry little friend was.
I continued my war against the the weeds for about another 30 minutes, pondering how quick life can come to an end, until I noticed an older woman approaching the temple. She was dressed in buckskins and had feathers in her hair. Her step was sure and full of confidence. As she drew nearer I noticed she was quite beautiful for a woman three times my age. I met her halfway up the walk and was determined to make a good first impression. "Sister Oreena? I presume?" I asked.
"Nitro." she nodded her head at me as I fell into step beside her.
"You have heard of me?" I smiled.
"I deal in life," she declared. "So naturally I would keep track of one who deals in death."
My step faltered as my smile vanished. I quickly ran to catch up. "My lady! I think you misjudge me." I said defensively.
"Do I?" She wheeled on me. "Are you not a soldier? Do you not kill for pay?" She tsked. "Little better than an assassin you are." She left me there with my mouth agape. I was thinking so much for my first impression when she turned around at the temple door and said "Here." She tossed me something small. I caught it. "I hear those are lucky." she said as she turned and entered the temple.
I looked down at a small furry foot in my hand. A little nob of blood at its joint. "Not for the rabbit." I whispered.
As I followed her into the temple I heard Oreena say to my friends and to Brother Elderst. "I would have been here sooner but I stopped for breakfast."
Sheesh! And she had the nerve to call me a killer! As if reading my mind, which she may actually have been doing. She said to me with a shrug, "Circle of life."
Whatever!
"Lets get down to business." said Shakes. "Can you bring our friends back from the dead? And if so, how much will it cost us?"
"All things are possible in nature." the old druidess answered cryptically. "I have the power to call back your friends spirits from where they have gone, but not to these body's." She said this as she pointed to Mordin's and Aramel's corpses lying on slabs in the church. "These body's are dead" she continued, "And my power cannot call them back to enter them."
"What does this mean, revered one?" asked Skylar.
I got the impression that these two knew each other as she caressed his cheek with her hand and answered, "Mother nature will create and supply a new body for them."
We quickly talked this over and then asked, "How much?"
"Mordin is a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness. I will cast the spell for free for him just this once." Oh cool....I thought....Our crazed berserker is 'a great warrior and Champion of the Wilderness' and I am killer and little better than an assassin. Hurmph! "For this..." she said waving her hand flippantly at Aramel's dismembered corpse, "1200 gold you will need."
"Deal!" said Shakes as he held out a jittering hand.
Oreena did not shake his hand but walked around the bodies of our fallen comrades, laying out mistletoe and holly and other strange components. "You youngsters should go to the forest to the south of here and await your friends there. They will arrive in about an hour."
"Will we recognize them?" asked Draco
"They will arrive as they entered the world the first time." She said.
"Wait!" I interjected with alarm. "They will be babies?!?"
"No. Numskull soldier. You will know them when you see them. But there form will be chosen by Mother Nature in all her wisdom." I was getting the feeling Sister Oreena did not think highly of me.
"Lets go." I said. "and bring their stuff."
We headed out of the church and a little ways to the south to the edge of the woods not far from where the hunting lodge was that Skylar stayed at.
"I hope Mordin comes back as a Minotaur." said Abrandon. "We could use a Minotaur to open doors."
"Uh..." I disagreed. "I don't think a Minotaur with Mordin's temper would be good for the world."
"Minotaurs already have bad tempers." the cleric told me. "Only this one would be working for us."
We sat around at the edge of the woods for about an hour like this arguing over what form Mother Nature, in all her wisdom, would choose for our friend Mordin. No one seemed to care what form Aramel's body took.
Then, we heard something approaching in the bushes.
Everyone leaped to their feet and grew quite, holding our breaths.
The bushes parted.
A naked gnome stepped out.
We stood there in shock for several moments. Then the gnome said in a gruff voice with an orcish accent, "Whatcha all lookin at?" He planted his fists on his hips and stared up at us with a familiar crazy look in his eyes.
"Mordin?" said Shakes.
"You're a gnome." confirmed Skylar.
'No shit." said our diminutive barbarian friend. "Where is the wizard who did this to me? I have some payback for him."
"I have seen everything now." said Draco. "Nothing can surprise me anymore."
"A wizard did not do this to you my friend." Abrandon the Cleric told Mordin. "You died and this was the only way to get you back."
"You mean I'm stuck like this?" Mordin said with alarm. "Who is going to tell my father? Where's my stuff?"
I had know idea who Mordin's father was, but I knew I wasn't going to tell him. We handed over Mordin's stuff, none of which fit. He dressed as best he could, then said, "I have things to do." and left us there with our shocked looks on our faces.
We stood there looking at each other, questions written on all our faces, and then we heard a dainty "ahem" from the direction of the woods.
Our group turned around to see a naked woman standing there.
It took us a few moments for this to register that this was undoubtedly Aramel standing before us. I still had to ask though, "Uh Aramel? Is that you?"
"Stop staring at my boobs." said the woman that was Aramel.
"You're a girl." I was an expert at observation today. "And you're naked."
"I take it back." said Draco. "I can still be surprised."
"I said stop staring at my boobs." He or she said again. "Where's my stuff?"
We slowly and reluctantly handed over the kid's stuff, which he or she quickly donned and ran off into town. His or her last words to us were. "Don't lose my head. There is a price on it and it's worth a lot of bounty money in the next kingdom."
We stood there looking at each other some more. After what seemed an eternity Abrandon the Cleric said, "Well, that was interesting."
"Ya!" Draco agreed. "Aramel has boobs!"
After that I said. "I'll be in my bunk." and left.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I hope tonight my dreams are not filled with Aramels naked body.
There is one thing I can tell you for a fact.
Mother Nature has a strange sense of humor.
Geesh!
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