I think I almost died today.
Twice.
When we met at the inn for breakfast, Aramel was waiting on us. But now he went by the name Vickey. I meant SHE went by the name Vickey.
I may not get used to this.
She looked a lot different. Besides the curves, I mean... She wore tight fitting black leathers. Her weapons consisted of whips and chains. She sat at the table and propped her feet up just like Aramel used to do. I think she was enjoying the nervousness that she was causing us. Well, most of us were nervous. Shakes started talking business, as usual, and Abrandon started questioning Aramel/Vickey about the new Him/Her.
I was just wondering whether Vickey/Aramel felt herself up in front of a mirror? Being that she was once a man, and now looked like that. I have to admit, Aramel's new body was pleasing to look at, but then she would open her mouth and talk like a guy, a guy with a melodious voice, and ruin it.
Oh well.
Shakes finally talked us into heading out. We waited for perhaps an hour for Mordin Fodder to show up. He didn't. I guess Aramel adjusted to his new body quicker than our barbarian friend. Makes sense, I suppose, given Mordin's innate fear of magic.
Once again we made our way down to the Enigma Vaults.
Vickey led the way. I couldn't help but notice that her butt swayed just like any other woman's. Apparently it is not something girls practice and learn. It must be just the way they walk. Natures way of luring unsuspecting men to their doom.
I watched to see if this was going to be a distraction and problem with my friends. I mean, we were in a dungeon full of dangerous monsters. If we couldn't keep our minds focused on task it could be disastrous.
Skylar was alert. He hardly looked at our new femme fatale. Nothing seemed different there.
Good.
If our scout was distracted, we would be in for some nasty surprises.
I would catch Draco looking at Vickey's swaying posterior, then he would quickly look away with a shudder and shake his head no. Maybe he was not as shallow as I first made him out to be.
But then he would check his hair to make sure it was all in place.
Shakes seemed oblivious. Maybe he is a eunuch. That would explain a lot. Like how he can do the splits so easy and kick behind his head.
Now Abrandon, our medic, was absolutely hypnotised by Vickey. His eyes rarely left her. He engaged her in conversation at every opportunity, and he hung on her every word.
I don't think our cleric remembers she was once a guy at all. I decided to take notes on all this. I may use it to write some cheesy romance novel in my old age.
Well enough of this.
I said I almost died twice, and the first time was utter stupidity on my part. We had kicked open a door. Above it was some sort of sign proclaiming it to be some sort of enigma of some sort or other.
Inside was a large broken geode. Of more interest was the pair of blue lion like creatures, each with two tails and tentacles for manes. They opened their mouths as they roared and charged. Their teeth was like that of sharks. Rows and rows of them.
Apparently they were hungry.
Shakes and Skylar engaged them in hand to hand. Or hand to teeth. Or whatever you want to call it. Draco and I sat back and blasted them with spells. Vickey, well she had to go and do something sexy.
Vickey looked over at me and smiled. She had very white teeth, but I guess when your body is only a day or two old, your teeth wouldn't have had time to decay. Also explains why she was so perky in places. Anyways, she looked at me and smiled and said, "Watch this."
She did a perfect cartwheel. Followed by a perfect backflip. And then ended with a perfect somersault right over the fight in front of us to land neatly behind the Blue Shark/ Lion things.
From now on I will refer to them as Sharkions.
"Wow!" Exclaimed Abrandon. "I don't remember her moving like that when she was a man!"
"Sure she did." I disagreed. "She tumbled around like that all the time."
"I don't think so." The Cleric argued with me. "A man can't move like that."
"I can even do that." I informed him.
"Uh huh. Sure you can," he said in obvious disbelief.
"I can!" I assured him. "I got an A in gymnastics at school!" He still didn't look like he believed me, so I said, "Watch this."
I did a perfect cartwheel, a perfect backflip and then ended with a perfect somersault.
Somehow or other I landed right in one of those Sharkion's mouth's, though.
"YIKES!" I yelled as the thing shook me around like a rag doll, blood flying everywhere. I bashed it upside the head with my morningstar, causing it to release me. I kicked it in the face as I crabwalked backwards trying to get away from the thing. Luckily Vickey swung her chain and hamstrung it with the blade on the end of her whip like weapon. This allowed me to escape behind Shakes and Skylar as the assassin hogtied the Sharkion.
Abrandon immediately started to to bandage my wounds and said, "Oh that was exactly like what she did. I don't know why I ever doubted you."
What a smartass.
Shakes and Skylar dropped their opponent. Draco blasted the one Vickey had hogtied with a firebolt. As it raised its head and roared in rage, she neatly jumped in and cut its throat. As the assassin did this though, one of those blue tails swung around and clipped her, knocking her back a few steps. Vickey grabbed her arm and yelled, "Ouch!" rubbing it.
"That's going to leave a nasty bruise." I said.
"Vickey!" yelled our medic. He actually knocked me over as he ran over to check her wound. Our cleric wasted no time using one of his best cure spells to heal her tiny bruise.
"Hey!" I yelled at him. "I'm bleeding to death over here!"
"That's just a scratch." he said back to me as he continue to nurse Vickey. "You'll be fine."
Something felt funny about my arm. I reached over and pulled a three inch sharks tooth out of my bicep. "Are you sure?" I asked as I watched blood squirt out of the spot where the sharks tooth had been. "I'm feeling a little bit dizzy here."
"Oh quit being a baby." Abrandon said as he walked back over to me. "Let me see that." as he jerked the sharks tooth out of my hand. "Hmm, it has a strange discoloration on it. It might be poisoned."
"Huh." I said woozily.
The medic placed a poultice upon my wound and checked over the rest of the group for bites. He made sure to check every inch of Vickey, twice.
We had a couple of other encounters that were not noteworthy. There were some Fungoid creatures and Shakes almost got sucked into the vacuum of deep space.
Nothing unusual there.
After we were finished and had our fill adventuring and exploring, we retrieved the treasure we had left behind in the flying insectoid wizard's room. I cast my Tenser's Floating disk spell and we loaded up everything of value we could find. As an after thought I tossed the wizard's body on our conveyance for further study in the Goldcloak laboratory. We pretty much took everything but the Alien Fungoid equipment which we assumed to be an Enigma. We didn't want to be purged after all....
We were still a little bit nervous as we approached the bridge with the Ghost Demon Abraxus upon it though. We didn't have Mordin with us after all and none of us were sure of an outcome If he decided to 'purge' us. Everyone else crossed first. As I set foot on the bridge Abraxus stepped forward, eyes glowing red with anger, and said in a deep ominous voice, "PUT HIM BACK!"
I gulped.
"You mean him?" I asked pointing at the insect wizard. "He's an Enigma?"
""PUT HIM BACK NOW!" the ghost demon reiterated.
"Uhh... Yes Sir." I told him. I continued with, "Sorry I didn't know." as I hastily retreated from the bridge. Funny how all my friends were laughing at me from across the way.
I put the thing back where we had slain it, and then once again approached the bridge. Abraxus didn't say nothing as I crossed with the rest of the loot. On the other side I told Shakes, "I think I almost died there."
"I had your back," he said.
"Bummer." said Draco. "I wanted to see what purging meant. It might not be as bad as we thought."
Ya right.
We made it the rest of the way out of the dungeon, but on our way out I used the newly repaired power crystal we recovered a few adventures ago to activate one of the constructs in the abandoned temple.
The Mechanoid follows my commands, and seems really strong.
I shall call him 'Bob'.
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