Day 48

  The Goldcloak Tower was all abuzz the next morning. I had delivered the preserved corpse of an interstellar demon called a Mi Go to them. People were visiting, studying, prodding, taking notes and generally doing what wizards and scholars do. I was surprised to see Draco among them. I didn't think he got into this kind of stuff.
  Well, I for one had already poked and prodded that corpse enough, so I was off to do a better form of studying. I went to my favorite place, the Thornkeep Library. The librarian smiled as I entered and asked if I had seen the corpse of the Mi Go at the tower. I said I was the one who killed and delivered it. Her look of amazement did wonders for my self esteem.
  I checked out two books. One on interstellar demonology written by some old wizard by the name of Lovecraft. ( Sounds like an Enchanter to me ) and the other on lycanthropy. I skimmed through the lycanthropy book, for I had read it all many times, and brushed up on what I already knew about Werewolves.
  The book by Lovecraft, I gave a more detailed reading.  I remembered speed reading this book in school and committed to memory the pages dealing with Mi Go. Apparently they work for some elder god that know one can speak the name of or he sends three of these bad boys to capture and kill the transgressor. If they fail, there is a small chance this ' Old One' will come himself and eat the entire continent, transgressor included.
  Well, I would hate to fight that thing.
  After leaving the library I checked in on Bob and our treasure. Everything was fine so I went back to the Goldcloak Tower to compare notes with Illiara about the Mi Go. Upon arriving though I was told by her secretary that she was in a meeting and wasn't to be disturbed. Since I was technically a spy working for the Blue Basilisk's, I decided to lurk about and see what foreign dignitary left her office.
  My blood ran cold when I seen who exited.
  Draco!
  He kissed her hand in that elegant manner of his that made all women swoon and said, " Until our next meeting, My lady."
  That bastard!
  Illiara smiled demurely and thanked him for his time. As he walked away her gaze checked out his butt and her eyebrows raised a little. She closed her door with a smile.
  As soon as the door was closed Draco paused to flirt with the secretary and two of Illiara's female apprentices that happened to be waiting outside her office. They all practically swooned as he made his exit.
  That asshole.
  Well as an associate of mine from another dimension would say....
  It's On Like Donkey Kong Now! ( I have no idea what this means but it sure sounds appropriate )
  Honestly. What do women see in him anyways? He has no brains and no physique worth mentioning. Other than for eye candy what could he offer a woman?
  I went to my room and tried to sleep, to no avail. The way Illiara smiled at him kept replaying in my mind. Was she in her nightgown? I couldn't remember. I got up and paced back and forth across my room, because I couldn't take this lying down.
  I couldn't kill Draco, obviously.
  He was my friend? right?
  So death was not an option.
  I had to stop him from encroaching on what I deemed my territory somehow.
  But how do you stop someone who is irresistible to women from having a chance with the most gorgeous woman in town?
  I put my considerable intellect to the problem and a plan started to form.
  The next morning, after doing my routines, I made my way the rooms of an apprentice enchantress by the name of Anna Swiftounge. Anna was the resident gossip. If she knew a secret the entire town knew it in short order.
  Anna answered the door in a little, sexy, sleep outfit. "Oh?!' She answered. "Well, I was wondering when you were going to knock on my door."
  "This isn't a social call, Anna," I informed her. "I am here on tower business."
   "Oh, ok. What's up?" she asked, as she closed the door behind me, and took my cloak.
   "It's about our reputation... And by that, I mean the towers reputation," I replied.
  "Oh, is our tower's reputation in danger?" she feigned concern.
  "Sort of. Do you remember the young sorceror who was here, visiting, in the mistress' office last night?'
  'How could I miss him?" She said,trying not to look a bit flushed.
  "Well, I know him rather well. He has quite the well-earned reputation for getting around town, anywhere, and with any female who will have him. I know for a fact that he spends many nights at that gnomish apothecary's house, and that the neighbor's talk often of the sounds of passion emanating from there." I was not lying about this point. Max, our diminutive barbarian friend, had been spending more than a few nights there. How Draco can sleep with all that racket going on is beyond me. I continued, " And some of those ladies are more than a bit promiscuous themselves." I paused to let this bit of information sink in. " Did you noticed the way that sorcerer was itching himself? " I made a scratching motion towards my groin area.
  Anna stopped and thought for a second, and when her face lit up I knew my post hypnotic suggestion took effect. I grabbed my cloak and headed for the door.
  "Wait!' she said. " Don't you want to stay for a bit?"
  " I said what I came to say. Do not tell anybody else about this. This is between you and I. Understand?"
  " Ok." Anna's eyes lit up. " You sure you don't want to stay? I have some wine." Smiling she pointed to a half full bottle on her nightstand next to the bed.
  "No. I must decline. I never drink this early in the morning." I bid her a good day and exited her chambers.
  Anna was a pretty girl, as most sorceress's are, to bad she didn't seem attracted to me. A roll in the hay with her probably would have been fun. If she ever shows an interest and things don't work out with Illiara and me... That was a very sheer nightgown she was wearing. I tried not to think of Anna's curves as I made my way out of the Goldcloak Tower to implement phase two of my master plan.
  I travelled to Goblin Town and entered my forge. Snap, Crackle and Pop jumped to attention as I entered and saluted me.
  "Heya big boss man!" Exclaimed Snap. "How went your date?"
  Crackle and Pop started rubbing their hands together, waiting for details.
  I shrugged. "Ok, I guess."
  " You gets some? Right?"
  "NO!" I said, shocked. " She is a refined lady. She would never put out on the first date."
  Snap looked crestfallen, probably more so than me, and Crackle looked at Pop and said in Goblin, "How she resist magic lard? Bacon smell gets them every time?"
  Pop just shook his head and said back in goblin, "Them elves resistant. Only works on them one time in twenties."
  "No worries boss." said Snap. "we give you nineteen more baths if that's what it takes."
  "Hold on there Nob." I said to Snap. "That is not why I have come. I need you to do something for me."
  "Sure thing boss. whatcha needs?"
  "I need some body lice. the kind that infects a persons nether regions."
  "Oh! You means crabs. We can get you some crabs easy. You getting revenge on girl who not put out?"
  "Something like that." I answered.
  Snap snapped his fingers and Crackle rushed out the door. I swear he was only gone four minutes, twenty nine seconds, when he ran back in and delivered a small vial full of the creepy crawlies to me.
  "That good boss?" asked Snap.
  "Yes!" I answered, in surprise. "How did you get them so quickly?"
  "We gots connections." smiled Snap.
  "Good to know. You guys just earned yourselves a bonus."
  The goblin trio cheered.
  As I was exiting Snap stopped me. "One more thing bossman."
  I paused at the door, "Yes?"
  "Your trick may not work so good on yer lady friend."
  "Why not?" I inquired.
  "Cause most them there she elves, well, dey shave der nether regions."
  My jaw dropped in shock. "How?!? Uhm. Never mind. I don't want to know."
  I made my way back to the Golden Tower. On the way I entertained and discarded the idea of dropping a few of my new friends on Draco himself. I came to the conclusion that this could be detrimental to our party's health. I mean, could you imagine Draco pausing to itch himself right in the middle of a fight to the death with some denizen of the lower planes?
  No. I had a better idea.
  I discretely left some on various pieces of plush furniture around the Goldcloak Tower, making a mental note of where so I didn't accidentally infect myself before they cleaned them all up. I had a little pang of guilt for a second. Then I remembered something one of my drill instructors said when he pulled a particularly dirty move in sparring practice. "All is fair in Love and War."
  If all goes according to plan Draco's reputation would soon be tarnished with the ladies here at the Goldcloak Tower.
  I laid down to sleep with a smile and thought.
   You learn something new everyday, and what I learned today was my three goblin henchmen see more elven trim than I do.
  There was something horrible wrong with this world.