I arrived at Baron Turvin's castle gates to find most my friends there also. Apparently they got invitations also. The only person missing was Draco. Who was out of town apparently.
"So," I asked the group, " You think the Baron plans on killing us now?"
"Maybe I plan on killing him now." was Max's reply.
"I don't think so." Shakes said. "Unar has a man on the inside. I am supposed to deliver a message to him. If Turvin was planning to kill us today Unar would have given me a heads up."
I didn't know what the relationship was between Unar and Shakes, but I had the impression Unar would feed Shakes to the wolves a piece at a time if it would further his own goals.
I just shrugged and hailed the gate.
The gate opened to at least a dozen guards.
They promptly disarmed us.
Max growled when they took his axe. Skylar wisely left the sword of Zog behind at his Lodge. Shakes and I knew that if it came to a fight, we would be throwing the heavy blows. As we were being disarmed one of the guards searching Shakes was obviously trying to talk to him but couldn't, Shakes gave me the eye, meaning a distraction would be helpful right about now.
"Hey honey!' I called to the sergeant. A rather large and brutish looking woman. "You didn't get this dagger I have hidden over here."
The Sergeant and several of her guards approached me. Giving Shakes the distraction he needed to slip Unar's man a message.
"Where's this dagger ye have hidden?" asked the burly she guard.
"It's right here. Down the front of my britches." I said to the laughter of the rest of the guards.
The sergeant was not, however, laughing. She grabbed me by my crotch and squeezed, causing me to grimace in pain as tears started to form in my eyes. Then surprisingly she let go with a smile on her face. "That's quite the weapon ye have there pretty boy. I'll let ye hold onto that for now. But I may be needin' to get it from you later, after my shift is over. Hope ye know how to wield it."
"Gulp." I gulped. To all the guards laughter.
"Thanks." said Shakes as we were marched along.
"What are friends for." I said, noticing that my voice was an octave higher.
We were brought before the baron and fed a lavish dinner. Turvin was a gracious host. He was flanked by two very imposing and heavily armed guards. At his feet was the biggest Wolfhound I had ever seen. A very beautiful woman watched from the balconies above. I knew, if it came to a fight, our position was precarious. We would most likely die.
I was not nervous in the least. I had taken measures to make sure I was avenged.
Earlier today I had left a letter with Nob, my brightest of the goblin lackeys. I told him if I did not report in by tomorrow afternoon he was to deliver that letter to Gronk, the Goblin leader. The letter stated simply, "Turvin has the Sword of Zog. We inflicted heavy casualties before we died. Now is the time to strike and retrieve it. Become the king you were meant to be."
If Turvin meant to scare us he failed big time. Not a member of ours at the table was the least bit intimidated. Even disarmed. On the contrary, the Baron was the one who looked nervous. After we had finished our meal Turvin gave us his pitch.
"Let me be frank." he said. "I am not happy with your sudden rise to fame. As of this moment you are all working for me. You may continue your forays into the dungeons below Thornkeep, but you will take one of my men, and he will report back to me everything that happens. You do not have a choice in this matter."
"It is very dangerous down there." said Shakes. "Your man will probably die."
"He will be able to handle himself. And if he dies I will find another."
We discussed this briefly and agreed to the Baron's terms. He promptly dismissed us and told us to send word when we were ready to make another trip to the Accursed Halls.
As we were leaving I took note of Turvin's boot size. I have been doing this with everyone I met since the werewolf incident nearly a month ago. I had 46 matches to date.
The Baron's was 47.
As the gate closed behind us I asked Skylar how long the werewolf attacks have been going on for?
"About two years." he said.
Two years. The same duration as the current Baron's reign. Of the 47 matches I had of the werewolf tracks, 46 had an alibi. I had a new number one suspect.
As I lay down to sleep, I think I have come up with a a title of a book I intend to write.
"Nitro's Boys verses Baron Werewolf"
I know I will have pleasant dreams tonight.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Day 50, Morning
I woke up about a half hour before dawn, as I usually do.
I did my exercises.
I prepared myself for the day.
This day I may die.
If I do not post tonight it is because the baron killed me. Know that I did not go down without a fight. Since this might be my last day on this earth, I decided to to spend it traversing the town, drinking in the sites.
In Goblin town I visited the forge. I bought the Goblin Lackeys an expensive lunch. Around the market I spread some of my new found wealth. People there love me. I can see adoration in their eyes.
I know why the Baron wants to kill me.
I know why he wants to kill us all.
Our group has gathered many names. 'Champions of the Accursed Halls' and 'The Accursed Champions', 'Saviors of the City', 'Saviors of Thornkeep'. The list went on and on. I listened to them as I traveled about the town. There were whispers that the Baron would kill us very soon.
One disturbing thing happened on my morning travels.
A nursery rhyme several children were singing as they danced in a circle holding hands in the market. It went like this.
"Here comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is One of Unar's Hitters"
"He will Smack your Sister, all Around"
"Knock Your Brother on the Ground"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
The second verse wasn't much better.
"Here Comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is one of Unar's Hitters"
"He Will Punch Your Mom in her Guts"
"Kick Your Dad, In His Nuts"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
The third verse was the most disturbing though.
"Here comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is One of Unar's Hitters"
"If He Shows, You better pay Now"
"Or He Will Take, Your Family Cow"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
I had a very bad feeling that these kids were singing about my friend Shakes. I knew he worked for Unar, and I remember him saying something about collecting a cow from some old farmer, but I couldn't see my friend, who had risked his life to save mine time and again and vise versa, as the villain these kids were singing about.
Oh well what do kids know anyways.
Hopefully you see an entry from me tonight.
I did my exercises.
I prepared myself for the day.
This day I may die.
If I do not post tonight it is because the baron killed me. Know that I did not go down without a fight. Since this might be my last day on this earth, I decided to to spend it traversing the town, drinking in the sites.
In Goblin town I visited the forge. I bought the Goblin Lackeys an expensive lunch. Around the market I spread some of my new found wealth. People there love me. I can see adoration in their eyes.
I know why the Baron wants to kill me.
I know why he wants to kill us all.
Our group has gathered many names. 'Champions of the Accursed Halls' and 'The Accursed Champions', 'Saviors of the City', 'Saviors of Thornkeep'. The list went on and on. I listened to them as I traveled about the town. There were whispers that the Baron would kill us very soon.
One disturbing thing happened on my morning travels.
A nursery rhyme several children were singing as they danced in a circle holding hands in the market. It went like this.
"Here comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is One of Unar's Hitters"
"He will Smack your Sister, all Around"
"Knock Your Brother on the Ground"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
The second verse wasn't much better.
"Here Comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is one of Unar's Hitters"
"He Will Punch Your Mom in her Guts"
"Kick Your Dad, In His Nuts"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
The third verse was the most disturbing though.
"Here comes Mr. Jitters"
"He is One of Unar's Hitters"
"If He Shows, You better pay Now"
"Or He Will Take, Your Family Cow"
"That's What Mr. Jitters Does!"
I had a very bad feeling that these kids were singing about my friend Shakes. I knew he worked for Unar, and I remember him saying something about collecting a cow from some old farmer, but I couldn't see my friend, who had risked his life to save mine time and again and vise versa, as the villain these kids were singing about.
Oh well what do kids know anyways.
Hopefully you see an entry from me tonight.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Day 49
First off, let me say my Goblin Lachey's don't know everything they thought they knew about Elvin females. It's true they don't have any body hair, but it is not because they shave. It is because it is part of their anatomy. Elves do not grow body hair. I read this in a book I checked out in the library called 'Anatomy of a She Elf ' written by some sage called Elminster. I have never heard of this Sage, but if I ever find myself in a city called Shadowdale I will have to look him up, as he seems to be a very learned man. I'm not going to hold my breath waiting to meet this man as I could find no town called Shadowdale on any maps of our known world. I can only surmise this Elminster is from another world or dimension.
After breakfast we made yet another foray into the area below the Enigma Vaults. We killed a giant two headed snake easy enough and had to run from some invisible ooze that shocked Shakes. It made him even more jittery than normal.
We split up loot. I for one was happy with my acquisition of the Alien Fungoid Surgeons Tools. Shakes got the Talon of Borva Daggin. It didn't fit right having only three finger spots but Shakes still looked formidable practicing his karate wearing it. Max took the Dragon Saddle and Vickey added the Four Barreled Mithril Rifle to her arsenal. It was broken but I assured her I could fix it if we got our hands on some mithril.
It looked like the end of a perfect day until I returned to the Goldcloak Tower to find a letter waiting for me. It was from the Baron and it said in no uncertain terms that he was expecting me for dinner tomorrow at his castle, and that only death itself should keep me from attending.
Uh Oh.
After breakfast we made yet another foray into the area below the Enigma Vaults. We killed a giant two headed snake easy enough and had to run from some invisible ooze that shocked Shakes. It made him even more jittery than normal.
We split up loot. I for one was happy with my acquisition of the Alien Fungoid Surgeons Tools. Shakes got the Talon of Borva Daggin. It didn't fit right having only three finger spots but Shakes still looked formidable practicing his karate wearing it. Max took the Dragon Saddle and Vickey added the Four Barreled Mithril Rifle to her arsenal. It was broken but I assured her I could fix it if we got our hands on some mithril.
It looked like the end of a perfect day until I returned to the Goldcloak Tower to find a letter waiting for me. It was from the Baron and it said in no uncertain terms that he was expecting me for dinner tomorrow at his castle, and that only death itself should keep me from attending.
Uh Oh.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Day 48
The Goldcloak Tower was all abuzz the next morning. I had delivered the preserved corpse of an interstellar demon called a Mi Go to them. People were visiting, studying, prodding, taking notes and generally doing what wizards and scholars do. I was surprised to see Draco among them. I didn't think he got into this kind of stuff.
Well, I for one had already poked and prodded that corpse enough, so I was off to do a better form of studying. I went to my favorite place, the Thornkeep Library. The librarian smiled as I entered and asked if I had seen the corpse of the Mi Go at the tower. I said I was the one who killed and delivered it. Her look of amazement did wonders for my self esteem.
I checked out two books. One on interstellar demonology written by some old wizard by the name of Lovecraft. ( Sounds like an Enchanter to me ) and the other on lycanthropy. I skimmed through the lycanthropy book, for I had read it all many times, and brushed up on what I already knew about Werewolves.
The book by Lovecraft, I gave a more detailed reading. I remembered speed reading this book in school and committed to memory the pages dealing with Mi Go. Apparently they work for some elder god that know one can speak the name of or he sends three of these bad boys to capture and kill the transgressor. If they fail, there is a small chance this ' Old One' will come himself and eat the entire continent, transgressor included.
Well, I would hate to fight that thing.
After leaving the library I checked in on Bob and our treasure. Everything was fine so I went back to the Goldcloak Tower to compare notes with Illiara about the Mi Go. Upon arriving though I was told by her secretary that she was in a meeting and wasn't to be disturbed. Since I was technically a spy working for the Blue Basilisk's, I decided to lurk about and see what foreign dignitary left her office.
My blood ran cold when I seen who exited.
Draco!
He kissed her hand in that elegant manner of his that made all women swoon and said, " Until our next meeting, My lady."
That bastard!
Illiara smiled demurely and thanked him for his time. As he walked away her gaze checked out his butt and her eyebrows raised a little. She closed her door with a smile.
As soon as the door was closed Draco paused to flirt with the secretary and two of Illiara's female apprentices that happened to be waiting outside her office. They all practically swooned as he made his exit.
That asshole.
Well as an associate of mine from another dimension would say....
It's On Like Donkey Kong Now! ( I have no idea what this means but it sure sounds appropriate )
Honestly. What do women see in him anyways? He has no brains and no physique worth mentioning. Other than for eye candy what could he offer a woman?
I went to my room and tried to sleep, to no avail. The way Illiara smiled at him kept replaying in my mind. Was she in her nightgown? I couldn't remember. I got up and paced back and forth across my room, because I couldn't take this lying down.
I couldn't kill Draco, obviously.
He was my friend? right?
So death was not an option.
I had to stop him from encroaching on what I deemed my territory somehow.
But how do you stop someone who is irresistible to women from having a chance with the most gorgeous woman in town?
I put my considerable intellect to the problem and a plan started to form.
The next morning, after doing my routines, I made my way the rooms of an apprentice enchantress by the name of Anna Swiftounge. Anna was the resident gossip. If she knew a secret the entire town knew it in short order.
Anna answered the door in a little, sexy, sleep outfit. "Oh?!' She answered. "Well, I was wondering when you were going to knock on my door."
"This isn't a social call, Anna," I informed her. "I am here on tower business."
"Oh, ok. What's up?" she asked, as she closed the door behind me, and took my cloak.
"It's about our reputation... And by that, I mean the towers reputation," I replied.
"Oh, is our tower's reputation in danger?" she feigned concern.
"Sort of. Do you remember the young sorceror who was here, visiting, in the mistress' office last night?'
'How could I miss him?" She said,trying not to look a bit flushed.
"Well, I know him rather well. He has quite the well-earned reputation for getting around town, anywhere, and with any female who will have him. I know for a fact that he spends many nights at that gnomish apothecary's house, and that the neighbor's talk often of the sounds of passion emanating from there." I was not lying about this point. Max, our diminutive barbarian friend, had been spending more than a few nights there. How Draco can sleep with all that racket going on is beyond me. I continued, " And some of those ladies are more than a bit promiscuous themselves." I paused to let this bit of information sink in. " Did you noticed the way that sorcerer was itching himself? " I made a scratching motion towards my groin area.
Anna stopped and thought for a second, and when her face lit up I knew my post hypnotic suggestion took effect. I grabbed my cloak and headed for the door.
"Wait!' she said. " Don't you want to stay for a bit?"
" I said what I came to say. Do not tell anybody else about this. This is between you and I. Understand?"
" Ok." Anna's eyes lit up. " You sure you don't want to stay? I have some wine." Smiling she pointed to a half full bottle on her nightstand next to the bed.
"No. I must decline. I never drink this early in the morning." I bid her a good day and exited her chambers.
Anna was a pretty girl, as most sorceress's are, to bad she didn't seem attracted to me. A roll in the hay with her probably would have been fun. If she ever shows an interest and things don't work out with Illiara and me... That was a very sheer nightgown she was wearing. I tried not to think of Anna's curves as I made my way out of the Goldcloak Tower to implement phase two of my master plan.
I travelled to Goblin Town and entered my forge. Snap, Crackle and Pop jumped to attention as I entered and saluted me.
"Heya big boss man!" Exclaimed Snap. "How went your date?"
Crackle and Pop started rubbing their hands together, waiting for details.
I shrugged. "Ok, I guess."
" You gets some? Right?"
"NO!" I said, shocked. " She is a refined lady. She would never put out on the first date."
Snap looked crestfallen, probably more so than me, and Crackle looked at Pop and said in Goblin, "How she resist magic lard? Bacon smell gets them every time?"
Pop just shook his head and said back in goblin, "Them elves resistant. Only works on them one time in twenties."
"No worries boss." said Snap. "we give you nineteen more baths if that's what it takes."
"Hold on there Nob." I said to Snap. "That is not why I have come. I need you to do something for me."
"Sure thing boss. whatcha needs?"
"I need some body lice. the kind that infects a persons nether regions."
"Oh! You means crabs. We can get you some crabs easy. You getting revenge on girl who not put out?"
"Something like that." I answered.
Snap snapped his fingers and Crackle rushed out the door. I swear he was only gone four minutes, twenty nine seconds, when he ran back in and delivered a small vial full of the creepy crawlies to me.
"That good boss?" asked Snap.
"Yes!" I answered, in surprise. "How did you get them so quickly?"
"We gots connections." smiled Snap.
"Good to know. You guys just earned yourselves a bonus."
The goblin trio cheered.
As I was exiting Snap stopped me. "One more thing bossman."
I paused at the door, "Yes?"
"Your trick may not work so good on yer lady friend."
"Why not?" I inquired.
"Cause most them there she elves, well, dey shave der nether regions."
My jaw dropped in shock. "How?!? Uhm. Never mind. I don't want to know."
I made my way back to the Golden Tower. On the way I entertained and discarded the idea of dropping a few of my new friends on Draco himself. I came to the conclusion that this could be detrimental to our party's health. I mean, could you imagine Draco pausing to itch himself right in the middle of a fight to the death with some denizen of the lower planes?
No. I had a better idea.
I discretely left some on various pieces of plush furniture around the Goldcloak Tower, making a mental note of where so I didn't accidentally infect myself before they cleaned them all up. I had a little pang of guilt for a second. Then I remembered something one of my drill instructors said when he pulled a particularly dirty move in sparring practice. "All is fair in Love and War."
If all goes according to plan Draco's reputation would soon be tarnished with the ladies here at the Goldcloak Tower.
I laid down to sleep with a smile and thought.
You learn something new everyday, and what I learned today was my three goblin henchmen see more elven trim than I do.
There was something horrible wrong with this world.
Well, I for one had already poked and prodded that corpse enough, so I was off to do a better form of studying. I went to my favorite place, the Thornkeep Library. The librarian smiled as I entered and asked if I had seen the corpse of the Mi Go at the tower. I said I was the one who killed and delivered it. Her look of amazement did wonders for my self esteem.
I checked out two books. One on interstellar demonology written by some old wizard by the name of Lovecraft. ( Sounds like an Enchanter to me ) and the other on lycanthropy. I skimmed through the lycanthropy book, for I had read it all many times, and brushed up on what I already knew about Werewolves.
The book by Lovecraft, I gave a more detailed reading. I remembered speed reading this book in school and committed to memory the pages dealing with Mi Go. Apparently they work for some elder god that know one can speak the name of or he sends three of these bad boys to capture and kill the transgressor. If they fail, there is a small chance this ' Old One' will come himself and eat the entire continent, transgressor included.
Well, I would hate to fight that thing.
After leaving the library I checked in on Bob and our treasure. Everything was fine so I went back to the Goldcloak Tower to compare notes with Illiara about the Mi Go. Upon arriving though I was told by her secretary that she was in a meeting and wasn't to be disturbed. Since I was technically a spy working for the Blue Basilisk's, I decided to lurk about and see what foreign dignitary left her office.
My blood ran cold when I seen who exited.
Draco!
He kissed her hand in that elegant manner of his that made all women swoon and said, " Until our next meeting, My lady."
That bastard!
Illiara smiled demurely and thanked him for his time. As he walked away her gaze checked out his butt and her eyebrows raised a little. She closed her door with a smile.
As soon as the door was closed Draco paused to flirt with the secretary and two of Illiara's female apprentices that happened to be waiting outside her office. They all practically swooned as he made his exit.
That asshole.
Well as an associate of mine from another dimension would say....
It's On Like Donkey Kong Now! ( I have no idea what this means but it sure sounds appropriate )
Honestly. What do women see in him anyways? He has no brains and no physique worth mentioning. Other than for eye candy what could he offer a woman?
I went to my room and tried to sleep, to no avail. The way Illiara smiled at him kept replaying in my mind. Was she in her nightgown? I couldn't remember. I got up and paced back and forth across my room, because I couldn't take this lying down.
I couldn't kill Draco, obviously.
He was my friend? right?
So death was not an option.
I had to stop him from encroaching on what I deemed my territory somehow.
But how do you stop someone who is irresistible to women from having a chance with the most gorgeous woman in town?
I put my considerable intellect to the problem and a plan started to form.
The next morning, after doing my routines, I made my way the rooms of an apprentice enchantress by the name of Anna Swiftounge. Anna was the resident gossip. If she knew a secret the entire town knew it in short order.
Anna answered the door in a little, sexy, sleep outfit. "Oh?!' She answered. "Well, I was wondering when you were going to knock on my door."
"This isn't a social call, Anna," I informed her. "I am here on tower business."
"Oh, ok. What's up?" she asked, as she closed the door behind me, and took my cloak.
"It's about our reputation... And by that, I mean the towers reputation," I replied.
"Oh, is our tower's reputation in danger?" she feigned concern.
"Sort of. Do you remember the young sorceror who was here, visiting, in the mistress' office last night?'
'How could I miss him?" She said,trying not to look a bit flushed.
"Well, I know him rather well. He has quite the well-earned reputation for getting around town, anywhere, and with any female who will have him. I know for a fact that he spends many nights at that gnomish apothecary's house, and that the neighbor's talk often of the sounds of passion emanating from there." I was not lying about this point. Max, our diminutive barbarian friend, had been spending more than a few nights there. How Draco can sleep with all that racket going on is beyond me. I continued, " And some of those ladies are more than a bit promiscuous themselves." I paused to let this bit of information sink in. " Did you noticed the way that sorcerer was itching himself? " I made a scratching motion towards my groin area.
Anna stopped and thought for a second, and when her face lit up I knew my post hypnotic suggestion took effect. I grabbed my cloak and headed for the door.
"Wait!' she said. " Don't you want to stay for a bit?"
" I said what I came to say. Do not tell anybody else about this. This is between you and I. Understand?"
" Ok." Anna's eyes lit up. " You sure you don't want to stay? I have some wine." Smiling she pointed to a half full bottle on her nightstand next to the bed.
"No. I must decline. I never drink this early in the morning." I bid her a good day and exited her chambers.
Anna was a pretty girl, as most sorceress's are, to bad she didn't seem attracted to me. A roll in the hay with her probably would have been fun. If she ever shows an interest and things don't work out with Illiara and me... That was a very sheer nightgown she was wearing. I tried not to think of Anna's curves as I made my way out of the Goldcloak Tower to implement phase two of my master plan.
I travelled to Goblin Town and entered my forge. Snap, Crackle and Pop jumped to attention as I entered and saluted me.
"Heya big boss man!" Exclaimed Snap. "How went your date?"
Crackle and Pop started rubbing their hands together, waiting for details.
I shrugged. "Ok, I guess."
" You gets some? Right?"
"NO!" I said, shocked. " She is a refined lady. She would never put out on the first date."
Snap looked crestfallen, probably more so than me, and Crackle looked at Pop and said in Goblin, "How she resist magic lard? Bacon smell gets them every time?"
Pop just shook his head and said back in goblin, "Them elves resistant. Only works on them one time in twenties."
"No worries boss." said Snap. "we give you nineteen more baths if that's what it takes."
"Hold on there Nob." I said to Snap. "That is not why I have come. I need you to do something for me."
"Sure thing boss. whatcha needs?"
"I need some body lice. the kind that infects a persons nether regions."
"Oh! You means crabs. We can get you some crabs easy. You getting revenge on girl who not put out?"
"Something like that." I answered.
Snap snapped his fingers and Crackle rushed out the door. I swear he was only gone four minutes, twenty nine seconds, when he ran back in and delivered a small vial full of the creepy crawlies to me.
"That good boss?" asked Snap.
"Yes!" I answered, in surprise. "How did you get them so quickly?"
"We gots connections." smiled Snap.
"Good to know. You guys just earned yourselves a bonus."
The goblin trio cheered.
As I was exiting Snap stopped me. "One more thing bossman."
I paused at the door, "Yes?"
"Your trick may not work so good on yer lady friend."
"Why not?" I inquired.
"Cause most them there she elves, well, dey shave der nether regions."
My jaw dropped in shock. "How?!? Uhm. Never mind. I don't want to know."
I made my way back to the Golden Tower. On the way I entertained and discarded the idea of dropping a few of my new friends on Draco himself. I came to the conclusion that this could be detrimental to our party's health. I mean, could you imagine Draco pausing to itch himself right in the middle of a fight to the death with some denizen of the lower planes?
No. I had a better idea.
I discretely left some on various pieces of plush furniture around the Goldcloak Tower, making a mental note of where so I didn't accidentally infect myself before they cleaned them all up. I had a little pang of guilt for a second. Then I remembered something one of my drill instructors said when he pulled a particularly dirty move in sparring practice. "All is fair in Love and War."
If all goes according to plan Draco's reputation would soon be tarnished with the ladies here at the Goldcloak Tower.
I laid down to sleep with a smile and thought.
You learn something new everyday, and what I learned today was my three goblin henchmen see more elven trim than I do.
There was something horrible wrong with this world.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Day 33 thru 47
First off, let me apologize for not writing these last couple of months. Most of you who have been following my exploits probably thought I had fallen in battle with some beasty. I assure you this is not the case. I decided keeping a day to day journal was not a wise thing to do while we were being stalked by some unknown entity. If the person or being tracking us came upon my journal our party's security, and more importantly my security, could be compromised.
A lot of events have transpired since my last journal entry. I will try to catch you up in as few installments as I can without leaving out to many pertinent details.
My date was a disaster.
I put that behind me.
We spent the next several days playing shadow games with our stalkers.
There were many.
Street urchins were everywhere. It was hard to travel around town without tripping over the little critters. They were spreading rumors of our exploits around town, blowing them way out of proportion. It was good for our rep so we let them.
There were young adolescents. They were mimicking our attire and mannerisms. Hero worshippers you would call them. I am a glutton for fame but I did not think we qualified as hero's. Foremost among these was a young farm boy by the name of Dug. He was strong and quick it seemed but was lacking in the brains department. He reminded me of Mordin but without the brutishness.
Speaking of our minuscule barbarian friend there still was no sign of him. We assumed he gave up adventuring after his transformation.
The Baron's men were watching us. We believe he felt threatened by our new found fame for some reason. Hopefully he doesn't feel to threatened and has us thrown in chains or something.
There was also a shadowy presence. Someone more skilled than Skylar, Vickey and Shakes at remaining hidden. Try as we might we could not determine who this sinister stalker was.
We determined to make another foray into the Enigma Vaults. Our plan was to do a small bit of exploring, then grab all the valuables and kill the Ghost Demon, Abraxus, on the way out.
That failed big time.
Our first encounter was with a couple of minor spirits.
They whooped our asses and made it look easy.
First off, they sang a song that put us in a daze. The only one to resist this effect was Draco. If it wasn't for him we would have all died right there. Dragon boy smacked us around until we snapped out of it. Second, our weapons passed right through them most of the time. They went all insubstantial on us then would phase back in and attack. The only things that worked for sure was my magic missiles and positive energy bolts. And I didn't have enough power to slay even one of them. Third, their touch drained our health. most of us were crawling out of there. If Abrandon was not covering our retreat by brandishing his cross and driving the spirits back, most of us would have joined the spirits in undeath.
We crawled past Abraxus on his bridge on the way out and we could only surmise at his power. If two minor ghosts could beat us so easily, what could this demon of ghosts do?
It was a downtrodden and sober group that left the Accursed Halls this day.
We spent the better part of a week recovering. None of us wanted to admit it, but i think we lost our edge. The group of us brooded over ales at the bar. Abrandon's prayers at breakfast were muted at best. None of us talked about plans over dinners.
It looked to me like this might be the end of our party.
And then one day as we entered our private room at the Green Forest Inn for breakfast, there sat a familiar muscle bound gnome with his legs propped up on the table. His first words were, " So! You guys miss me?"
It was a miracle.
A miracle named Mordin.
"Mordin!" We all yelled in unison.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" He yelled. " Stop it right there! I go by the name Max now. Maximus Fodder."
We all looked at each other, and then Vickey said, " We are good with that."
The next couple of hours was spent catching up. Mordin, or Max as he is called now, had spent the last couple of weeks getting to know his new body and letting the numerous ladies of the night in Thornkeep getting to know it also. Apparently he was running low on money and asked, " So? When we going back down into the dungeon?"
We told him of our last couple of trips into the Enigma Vaults and of our defeat at the hands of the singing ghosts. "Pfft." He informed us. " You didn't have me then." Grabbing his magic axe he said, " Let's go."
It was a slaughter.
Of the ghosts.
Mordin may have lost his stature, but he lost none of his ferocity. He swung his axe at one of the ghosts and predictably it phased out, the weapon passing right through, but then he reversed his swing just as the spirit rematerialized and opened up the things throat. Ectoplasmic blood gushed out all over our diminutive berserker, causing him to laugh maniacally. Draco and I blasted the other through a wall with disrupt undead spells, which I instructed him were effective against these creatures. When it stuck his head back through the wall Skylar was waiting there with the Sword of Zog and lopped it's head right off. It looked kind of silly with it's upper torso hanging headless out of a wall and gushing ectoplasm. We removed wax from our ears that we placed there to protect us from their songs and cheered.
We looted the Enigma Vault's. I cast a Tenser's Floating Disk spell and placed the corpse of the alien wizard upon it. I had preserved the corpse with Oil of Timelessness so that it didn't decay previously and now I was glad I done so.
Abraxus awaited us on the bridge.
He shrugged as we approached him and vanished in a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared two Giant Pythons were in his place. We hit them so hard and fast they were dead in the first few seconds.
As we left the dungeon with all our spoils I said to Draco, " That was kind of anti climactic." he just shrugged.
Halfway through town I broke off from the rest of the party and made my way to the Goldcloak Tower with my burden. In the main room to the oh's and ah's of all her apprentices I tossed the body of the alien wizard to the feet of Illara Starcloak.
She smiled as she met my gaze.
I smiled back.
She looked down at the corpse at her feet and palled. " That's a Mi Go." she whispered.
My blood ran cold, for I knew that name.
A lot of events have transpired since my last journal entry. I will try to catch you up in as few installments as I can without leaving out to many pertinent details.
My date was a disaster.
I put that behind me.
We spent the next several days playing shadow games with our stalkers.
There were many.
Street urchins were everywhere. It was hard to travel around town without tripping over the little critters. They were spreading rumors of our exploits around town, blowing them way out of proportion. It was good for our rep so we let them.
There were young adolescents. They were mimicking our attire and mannerisms. Hero worshippers you would call them. I am a glutton for fame but I did not think we qualified as hero's. Foremost among these was a young farm boy by the name of Dug. He was strong and quick it seemed but was lacking in the brains department. He reminded me of Mordin but without the brutishness.
Speaking of our minuscule barbarian friend there still was no sign of him. We assumed he gave up adventuring after his transformation.
The Baron's men were watching us. We believe he felt threatened by our new found fame for some reason. Hopefully he doesn't feel to threatened and has us thrown in chains or something.
There was also a shadowy presence. Someone more skilled than Skylar, Vickey and Shakes at remaining hidden. Try as we might we could not determine who this sinister stalker was.
We determined to make another foray into the Enigma Vaults. Our plan was to do a small bit of exploring, then grab all the valuables and kill the Ghost Demon, Abraxus, on the way out.
That failed big time.
Our first encounter was with a couple of minor spirits.
They whooped our asses and made it look easy.
First off, they sang a song that put us in a daze. The only one to resist this effect was Draco. If it wasn't for him we would have all died right there. Dragon boy smacked us around until we snapped out of it. Second, our weapons passed right through them most of the time. They went all insubstantial on us then would phase back in and attack. The only things that worked for sure was my magic missiles and positive energy bolts. And I didn't have enough power to slay even one of them. Third, their touch drained our health. most of us were crawling out of there. If Abrandon was not covering our retreat by brandishing his cross and driving the spirits back, most of us would have joined the spirits in undeath.
We crawled past Abraxus on his bridge on the way out and we could only surmise at his power. If two minor ghosts could beat us so easily, what could this demon of ghosts do?
It was a downtrodden and sober group that left the Accursed Halls this day.
We spent the better part of a week recovering. None of us wanted to admit it, but i think we lost our edge. The group of us brooded over ales at the bar. Abrandon's prayers at breakfast were muted at best. None of us talked about plans over dinners.
It looked to me like this might be the end of our party.
And then one day as we entered our private room at the Green Forest Inn for breakfast, there sat a familiar muscle bound gnome with his legs propped up on the table. His first words were, " So! You guys miss me?"
It was a miracle.
A miracle named Mordin.
"Mordin!" We all yelled in unison.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" He yelled. " Stop it right there! I go by the name Max now. Maximus Fodder."
We all looked at each other, and then Vickey said, " We are good with that."
The next couple of hours was spent catching up. Mordin, or Max as he is called now, had spent the last couple of weeks getting to know his new body and letting the numerous ladies of the night in Thornkeep getting to know it also. Apparently he was running low on money and asked, " So? When we going back down into the dungeon?"
We told him of our last couple of trips into the Enigma Vaults and of our defeat at the hands of the singing ghosts. "Pfft." He informed us. " You didn't have me then." Grabbing his magic axe he said, " Let's go."
It was a slaughter.
Of the ghosts.
Mordin may have lost his stature, but he lost none of his ferocity. He swung his axe at one of the ghosts and predictably it phased out, the weapon passing right through, but then he reversed his swing just as the spirit rematerialized and opened up the things throat. Ectoplasmic blood gushed out all over our diminutive berserker, causing him to laugh maniacally. Draco and I blasted the other through a wall with disrupt undead spells, which I instructed him were effective against these creatures. When it stuck his head back through the wall Skylar was waiting there with the Sword of Zog and lopped it's head right off. It looked kind of silly with it's upper torso hanging headless out of a wall and gushing ectoplasm. We removed wax from our ears that we placed there to protect us from their songs and cheered.
We looted the Enigma Vault's. I cast a Tenser's Floating Disk spell and placed the corpse of the alien wizard upon it. I had preserved the corpse with Oil of Timelessness so that it didn't decay previously and now I was glad I done so.
Abraxus awaited us on the bridge.
He shrugged as we approached him and vanished in a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared two Giant Pythons were in his place. We hit them so hard and fast they were dead in the first few seconds.
As we left the dungeon with all our spoils I said to Draco, " That was kind of anti climactic." he just shrugged.
Halfway through town I broke off from the rest of the party and made my way to the Goldcloak Tower with my burden. In the main room to the oh's and ah's of all her apprentices I tossed the body of the alien wizard to the feet of Illara Starcloak.
She smiled as she met my gaze.
I smiled back.
She looked down at the corpse at her feet and palled. " That's a Mi Go." she whispered.
My blood ran cold, for I knew that name.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Day Thirty Two, A Bummer of an Evening
My date was a disaster.
It went so bad I want to bury it in a bottomless pit and then build a monument upon it to show how inept I am at talking to women. I am writing this down for posterity's sake, so maybe whoever reads it may not repeat my mistakes.
Here are how events unfolded from the time I awoke to now.
My internal time piece went off at its normal time as it does every morning. I literally jumped out of bed and did my routines.
And then I did them again.
And again.
After the third time of doing my morning exercises I realised this was not helping pass the time to my date any more quickly. If anything it seemed like time was moving slower.
I had to get out and do something to take my mind off my date so time would pass by more quickly. I decided I needed to head over to Goblin Town and check in on the project I had going there.
I arrived at my forge to find the three goblins I had working for me sleeping off a hangover. A little part of me didn't approve of this, but I really didn't care if they turned a profit or not. This was a safehouse. A spot for me to hole up if things went south. If it was part of the goblin lifestyle to slack off and be lazy, well, far be it from me to interfere. I need this place to look normal from the outside.
Still, when I woke them up the little buggers jumped to attention and even saluted me. Their names were, Nob, Grunk and Darby.
I call them Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Snap, who seemed to be the leader, probably because he spoke better common than the other two, said, " Sorry big boss man. We wasn't expectin no surprise inspection dis mornin."
"No it's alright, Nob." I reassured him, setting his mind at ease. " I have a big date tonight with a pretty elf chic and was looking for a way to pass the time before then." My three minions made funny sour faces when I said the words 'Elf Chic', but then just shrugged. I continued, "have you made any weapons or armor yet?"
"Sure thing boss." said Snap. "Check out this spear I made." He showed me a crude weapon, little more than a knife blade tied to a long stick.
"Nice!" I said, feigning excitement. Something happened then. Something I wasn't expecting. All three of the goblins grew excited and started showing off the wares they had crafted. There were crude clubs with spikes. Daggers made of bone. Shields made from the seats of chairs and so forth. All the arms and armor were serviceable, but none I would actually use in battle unless I really had too. Still, with each item I praised their ingenuity and pointed out the positive details of each and every piece.
When all was done my three minions looked at me and asked, " Boss, will you stay and craft with us?"
"It's a good eight hours to my date, so why not." I answered.
It felt good to work the forge. Something I hadn't done since shop class in Warmage academy. As I crafted the day away my three minions oohed and ahhed at everything I did. As I completed a sword, they made such a big deal over it you would have thought I crafted Excalibur itself. And I found I liked this praise. Now I know why so many evil wizards keep these guys around. These guys make you feel good about being yourself. I am so used to being chewed up and tore down by my friends that this hero worship that is being thrown my way was like Euphoria.
I was all smiles.
Until I looked outside and seen that it was getting dark.
"Oh Crap!" I cried. "My date is in less than an hour!"
"Whats wrong Boss? You got's plenty of time." said Snap.
"But I smell like a forge." I wailed.
"Girls like sweat Boss. She be impressed"
"Not this girl." I said. "She is a refined lady."
"She sounds like no fun at all." said Snap, to the nods of his partners. "Still we can gets you some waters for bath."
"Quick." I said. Spurring them into motion. "And grab some soap too." All three goblins stopped in their tracks at that, with horrified expressions on their faces.
"We gots no soap boss." said Crackle.
"We gots lard." said Pop. "Lard works good."
"Okay. But hurry!" I said.
I spent the next thirty or so minutes being scrubbed with lard in what smelled like sewer water by my minions head to toe.
"Ugh. I smell like bacon." I said.
"Girls like bacon Boss." all three said in unison.
"She gona love you." said Snap.
I looked at them dubiously and shrugged. "I hope so. Keep up the good work." I told them.
All three gave me smiles and a thumbs up symbol.
I raced out of Goblin Town as fast as I could and just beat the carriage I arraigned to pick up Illiara by a few moments. The table I had reserved was in a secluded corner where I thought we could have some privacy. As usual the Green Forest Inn was crowded during dinner time. Illara came through the door at about the time I seated myself. I stood up as the hostess escorted her over to our table.
"My lady." I smiled. "You look radiant tonight."
She smiled and thanked me as I pulled out her seat for her. As I took my own seat she made a disgusted face and said sniffing the air, "Do they allow Goblins in here?"
"Uhm, yes they do. There were some in here a bit ago. They just left." I lied. "How was your ride?"
"Very comfortable. Thank you."
There was a bottle of Feywine upon our table and I poured us each a glass. She smiled and said as she took a sip. "You sprang for the best."
"Of course." I said as I picked up my menu.
"So." she said. "Tell me of your recent exploits into the Accursed Halls and this creature you fought."
I gave her all the pertinent details on our encounter with the strange alien wizard.
When I was finished she said in that musical voice of hers, "Pity you could not have recovered its body. I sure would have loved to study it more closely."
I knew right then, Abraxus the Ghost demon was going to die, for nothing was going to stop me from bringing that alien wizard out of that dungeon and laying it at this fair maidens feet.
"May I take your order?" said a familiar voice from next to our table.
I looked up to see Vickey standing there with her hand on her hip with a bored look on her face.
"Vickey?" I said with my mouth dropping open. "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like genius? I'm working."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because a girl has to eat. You going to order or sit there and gawk at me all night?"
"Nitro? You know this girl?" asked Illiara, arching an eyebrow.
"Uhm, no not really." I told her. taking a big drink of my wine.
"Oh really?" said Vickey in an offended tone. Then looking at Illiara she said, "he seen me naked."
I coughed up my Feywine at that and said as I was choking. "No not like that."
"I don't remember you being in no hurry to hand me back my clothes. Do You?"
I was flabbergasted, and couldn't talk straight for several moments, then finally blurted out, "Could you just take our order please."
"With pleasure. I need to get away from this table because one of you smells like goblin."
As she left with our order I looked across the table and said to Illiara. "I am so not tipping him."
"Him?" She asked.
I couldn't give her the full account of how I knew Vickey without compromising her new identity, so I just gave her a rough outline of events on how she used to be a man and how we sprang for a new body for her after his death.
"It is a strange world we live in." she told me with a smile.
"Don't I know it." I said. " I mean look at you. You look like you could be about my age, But everyone knows elves live for thousands of years. You could be ancient as far as I know. How old are you anyways?" when I realised what just came out of my mouth I slapped my hand over it and cursed under my breath.
I broke the cardinal rule.
What an idiot I am.
I reassured myself this night couldn't get any worse.
I was wrong.
Shakes and Abrandon walked in the door.
I picked up my menu and tried to hide behind it, to no avail.
Shakes sat down at my table and said, oblivious to the fact that I was out on a date with the most desirable woman in town, "We have to talk. It's important."
"Will you excuse me for a moment?" I asked Illiara.
"Sure." She said with a slight frown.
I walked over to the bar with Shakes and Abrandon and said, "Can't you guys see I'm out on a date?"
Shakes ignored me and said, "We're being tracked."
I looked around the room and said, "What?"
"We found out someone is asking questions about us and tracking our movements."
"Any idea who?"
"Not yet." Shakes said.
"We have Skylar on it." added Abrandon.
" I need to get Illiara home safe." I said.
"Meet here tomorrow." said Shakes.
"Will do. Stay safe." I said.
"Always."
"Something dangerous has come up." I informed Illiara as I returned to the table. "We need to cut this short I am afraid."
" I understand." She told me as we quickly finished our meal. I escorted her home and at her door, I asked. "Do this again sometime?"
"Perhaps." she said. "It was fun."
I walked back to my room and cursed my luck.
Maybe I should leave the dating to the experts. Like Draco.
It went so bad I want to bury it in a bottomless pit and then build a monument upon it to show how inept I am at talking to women. I am writing this down for posterity's sake, so maybe whoever reads it may not repeat my mistakes.
Here are how events unfolded from the time I awoke to now.
My internal time piece went off at its normal time as it does every morning. I literally jumped out of bed and did my routines.
And then I did them again.
And again.
After the third time of doing my morning exercises I realised this was not helping pass the time to my date any more quickly. If anything it seemed like time was moving slower.
I had to get out and do something to take my mind off my date so time would pass by more quickly. I decided I needed to head over to Goblin Town and check in on the project I had going there.
I arrived at my forge to find the three goblins I had working for me sleeping off a hangover. A little part of me didn't approve of this, but I really didn't care if they turned a profit or not. This was a safehouse. A spot for me to hole up if things went south. If it was part of the goblin lifestyle to slack off and be lazy, well, far be it from me to interfere. I need this place to look normal from the outside.
Still, when I woke them up the little buggers jumped to attention and even saluted me. Their names were, Nob, Grunk and Darby.
I call them Snap, Crackle and Pop.
Snap, who seemed to be the leader, probably because he spoke better common than the other two, said, " Sorry big boss man. We wasn't expectin no surprise inspection dis mornin."
"No it's alright, Nob." I reassured him, setting his mind at ease. " I have a big date tonight with a pretty elf chic and was looking for a way to pass the time before then." My three minions made funny sour faces when I said the words 'Elf Chic', but then just shrugged. I continued, "have you made any weapons or armor yet?"
"Sure thing boss." said Snap. "Check out this spear I made." He showed me a crude weapon, little more than a knife blade tied to a long stick.
"Nice!" I said, feigning excitement. Something happened then. Something I wasn't expecting. All three of the goblins grew excited and started showing off the wares they had crafted. There were crude clubs with spikes. Daggers made of bone. Shields made from the seats of chairs and so forth. All the arms and armor were serviceable, but none I would actually use in battle unless I really had too. Still, with each item I praised their ingenuity and pointed out the positive details of each and every piece.
When all was done my three minions looked at me and asked, " Boss, will you stay and craft with us?"
"It's a good eight hours to my date, so why not." I answered.
It felt good to work the forge. Something I hadn't done since shop class in Warmage academy. As I crafted the day away my three minions oohed and ahhed at everything I did. As I completed a sword, they made such a big deal over it you would have thought I crafted Excalibur itself. And I found I liked this praise. Now I know why so many evil wizards keep these guys around. These guys make you feel good about being yourself. I am so used to being chewed up and tore down by my friends that this hero worship that is being thrown my way was like Euphoria.
I was all smiles.
Until I looked outside and seen that it was getting dark.
"Oh Crap!" I cried. "My date is in less than an hour!"
"Whats wrong Boss? You got's plenty of time." said Snap.
"But I smell like a forge." I wailed.
"Girls like sweat Boss. She be impressed"
"Not this girl." I said. "She is a refined lady."
"She sounds like no fun at all." said Snap, to the nods of his partners. "Still we can gets you some waters for bath."
"Quick." I said. Spurring them into motion. "And grab some soap too." All three goblins stopped in their tracks at that, with horrified expressions on their faces.
"We gots no soap boss." said Crackle.
"We gots lard." said Pop. "Lard works good."
"Okay. But hurry!" I said.
I spent the next thirty or so minutes being scrubbed with lard in what smelled like sewer water by my minions head to toe.
"Ugh. I smell like bacon." I said.
"Girls like bacon Boss." all three said in unison.
"She gona love you." said Snap.
I looked at them dubiously and shrugged. "I hope so. Keep up the good work." I told them.
All three gave me smiles and a thumbs up symbol.
I raced out of Goblin Town as fast as I could and just beat the carriage I arraigned to pick up Illiara by a few moments. The table I had reserved was in a secluded corner where I thought we could have some privacy. As usual the Green Forest Inn was crowded during dinner time. Illara came through the door at about the time I seated myself. I stood up as the hostess escorted her over to our table.
"My lady." I smiled. "You look radiant tonight."
She smiled and thanked me as I pulled out her seat for her. As I took my own seat she made a disgusted face and said sniffing the air, "Do they allow Goblins in here?"
"Uhm, yes they do. There were some in here a bit ago. They just left." I lied. "How was your ride?"
"Very comfortable. Thank you."
There was a bottle of Feywine upon our table and I poured us each a glass. She smiled and said as she took a sip. "You sprang for the best."
"Of course." I said as I picked up my menu.
"So." she said. "Tell me of your recent exploits into the Accursed Halls and this creature you fought."
I gave her all the pertinent details on our encounter with the strange alien wizard.
When I was finished she said in that musical voice of hers, "Pity you could not have recovered its body. I sure would have loved to study it more closely."
I knew right then, Abraxus the Ghost demon was going to die, for nothing was going to stop me from bringing that alien wizard out of that dungeon and laying it at this fair maidens feet.
"May I take your order?" said a familiar voice from next to our table.
I looked up to see Vickey standing there with her hand on her hip with a bored look on her face.
"Vickey?" I said with my mouth dropping open. "What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like genius? I'm working."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because a girl has to eat. You going to order or sit there and gawk at me all night?"
"Nitro? You know this girl?" asked Illiara, arching an eyebrow.
"Uhm, no not really." I told her. taking a big drink of my wine.
"Oh really?" said Vickey in an offended tone. Then looking at Illiara she said, "he seen me naked."
I coughed up my Feywine at that and said as I was choking. "No not like that."
"I don't remember you being in no hurry to hand me back my clothes. Do You?"
I was flabbergasted, and couldn't talk straight for several moments, then finally blurted out, "Could you just take our order please."
"With pleasure. I need to get away from this table because one of you smells like goblin."
As she left with our order I looked across the table and said to Illiara. "I am so not tipping him."
"Him?" She asked.
I couldn't give her the full account of how I knew Vickey without compromising her new identity, so I just gave her a rough outline of events on how she used to be a man and how we sprang for a new body for her after his death.
"It is a strange world we live in." she told me with a smile.
"Don't I know it." I said. " I mean look at you. You look like you could be about my age, But everyone knows elves live for thousands of years. You could be ancient as far as I know. How old are you anyways?" when I realised what just came out of my mouth I slapped my hand over it and cursed under my breath.
I broke the cardinal rule.
What an idiot I am.
I reassured myself this night couldn't get any worse.
I was wrong.
Shakes and Abrandon walked in the door.
I picked up my menu and tried to hide behind it, to no avail.
Shakes sat down at my table and said, oblivious to the fact that I was out on a date with the most desirable woman in town, "We have to talk. It's important."
"Will you excuse me for a moment?" I asked Illiara.
"Sure." She said with a slight frown.
I walked over to the bar with Shakes and Abrandon and said, "Can't you guys see I'm out on a date?"
Shakes ignored me and said, "We're being tracked."
I looked around the room and said, "What?"
"We found out someone is asking questions about us and tracking our movements."
"Any idea who?"
"Not yet." Shakes said.
"We have Skylar on it." added Abrandon.
" I need to get Illiara home safe." I said.
"Meet here tomorrow." said Shakes.
"Will do. Stay safe." I said.
"Always."
"Something dangerous has come up." I informed Illiara as I returned to the table. "We need to cut this short I am afraid."
" I understand." She told me as we quickly finished our meal. I escorted her home and at her door, I asked. "Do this again sometime?"
"Perhaps." she said. "It was fun."
I walked back to my room and cursed my luck.
Maybe I should leave the dating to the experts. Like Draco.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Day Thirty One, Evening
I am very excited about events that happened today. First, we parked Bob at a warehouse we rented from Shakes boss. He seems like an ok guy but a bit villainous. I gave Bob the order to slay anyone but one of our group who breaks into the warehouse since we have a lot of expensive stuff stashed there. I also gave Bob orders to listen to any commands given by any of our group unless I say otherwise. He is like the perfect servant.
Second, we split up the treasure we found in the Flying wizards lair. I netted just over a thousand gold and two wands. I had them identified by a cute blond girl at the Gold Cloak Tower. One is a Wand of Invisibility. The other is a Wand of Charm Monster.
Third, there is still no sign of Mordin. We are beginning to worry about our friend. I have heard of tell tell signs of his passing though. A lot of the women he frequented are telling tales of some super gnome lover boy in town. I seen that gnome naked. Mother nature might have shrunk his body but left some parts of him abnormally proportioned. If I was a girl I would be terrified of that weapon he was packing. But you know the women Mordin hung out with when he was a Half orc were probably used to such.
Fourth, I have a date. Yes you heard me right. I have a dinner date with the mistress of the Gold Cloak Tower, Iliara Starcloak, herself. She asked me about the creature we had fought, for she was deciphering some of the books we had recovered down there. I told her maybe we should discuss this over dinner at the Green Forest Inn.
I almost fainted when she said yes.
I know. I know. You are asking how someone who plays with dangerous monsters and fights for a living can go all weak in the knees over a girl.
But what a girl.
She is lean and lithe like all elves are. Her hair is like spun gold down to her hips. Her eyes are slanted and the lightest shade of purple. And above all else she is smart.
Brains and beauty make me weak in the knees.
So tomorrow I have arranged for a coach to pick her up and bring her to the Green Forest Inn where I have set up what I hope to be a romantic dinner for two.
I will let you know how it goes.
Goodnight.
Second, we split up the treasure we found in the Flying wizards lair. I netted just over a thousand gold and two wands. I had them identified by a cute blond girl at the Gold Cloak Tower. One is a Wand of Invisibility. The other is a Wand of Charm Monster.
Third, there is still no sign of Mordin. We are beginning to worry about our friend. I have heard of tell tell signs of his passing though. A lot of the women he frequented are telling tales of some super gnome lover boy in town. I seen that gnome naked. Mother nature might have shrunk his body but left some parts of him abnormally proportioned. If I was a girl I would be terrified of that weapon he was packing. But you know the women Mordin hung out with when he was a Half orc were probably used to such.
Fourth, I have a date. Yes you heard me right. I have a dinner date with the mistress of the Gold Cloak Tower, Iliara Starcloak, herself. She asked me about the creature we had fought, for she was deciphering some of the books we had recovered down there. I told her maybe we should discuss this over dinner at the Green Forest Inn.
I almost fainted when she said yes.
I know. I know. You are asking how someone who plays with dangerous monsters and fights for a living can go all weak in the knees over a girl.
But what a girl.
She is lean and lithe like all elves are. Her hair is like spun gold down to her hips. Her eyes are slanted and the lightest shade of purple. And above all else she is smart.
Brains and beauty make me weak in the knees.
So tomorrow I have arranged for a coach to pick her up and bring her to the Green Forest Inn where I have set up what I hope to be a romantic dinner for two.
I will let you know how it goes.
Goodnight.
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